The Girl At The Last

Chapter 30

Alex

Breath!

Breath harder.

Burning sensation travelled my mid rib as it danced it's way to my injured shoulder, I clutched the steering wheel in a taunting grip. The knuckles turned white but the pain in my arms increased because of the force exerted.

I secretly wished it. The desire to punish myself was fresh. Like a healing flesh was torn open, again. I could feel myself being sucked back by the nightmares of past.

The night, the harsh words, the mistake, the regret and her.

I saw it in Elaine's eyes, the same bitterness and a broken soul beneath. She reminded me so much of her.

They both refused to cry in front of me. The only difference was I was naive enough to think she was strong, but now I know only the weaker ones are afraid of letting their emotions control them.

I know it because I am one of them.

And I ruined her. I broke Elaine's trust and I am never getting it back.

Glaring at the needle which frowned around the increasing speed, I pushed the gas further to its limit.

I wanted to catch you red handed.

Saying those words aloud to her killed a part of me. Each moment in that room I painted the canvas of her elegance in my memory, because I knew that once I mess up everything, I won't be having her back.

Heck the only time I pictured myself catching her was when she would fall in love with me, so that I would never let her go.

Yes, I love her. It took me three months, turning Jace into pulp twice, Aiden's stupid suspicion, sleepless nights, a possessive heart, and a realization trip to Orlando to make me slap myself and accept defeat from my inner battle.

Only to ruin her with my curse. But she doesn't even have a clue that it has destroyed me tonight. To hold her unconscious body in my arms and to know I could've lost her was enough to wreck me.

It's for her own safety.

Breath!

You should have listened to your Father.

Inhale

Aiden warned you about that suspicious car following us.

Exhale.

You know someday this was bound to happen. You don't deserve her.

Breath.

I can't.

Changing the gears I took the car off the coast, pulling over the side. I got out slamming the door shut. The storm was long gone leaving behind its traces of the wet smell of dirt and heavy breeze.

Similar to our situation.

My phone has been constantly irritating me with April's calls, probably to check up if I am still alive.

With a furious grip on it, I thrust it forward with shrilling scream to let out my frustration. It vanished in between the wild bushes.

I kick the car hoping It would help. Destroying things always had a calming effect on my anger.

The road lay across, with wilderness on both sides, and at two it was eerily empty except for a teenager with issues.

Closing my eyes I took deep breaths, counting backwards as the doctor had advised. But all I could think about was how I left her behind.