Brendon Urie Imagines and Smuts

I'm Not Going Anywhere (Fluff)

I've done quite a lot of imagines about Y/N's Mental Health, so gonna do one where it's more about Brendon. This was requested!

Y/N POV:

Brendon has seemed extremely distant lately. He'll speak to people and still go out sometimes, but he never seems fully 'present'. I have asked him if he's okay and he's assured me he is, but I don't buy it. But, I also don't want to overwhelm him by constantly asking him what's wrong. Sadly, I'm just going to have to wait it out and let him come to me. But it's horrible, if there is something on his mind then I want to help him with it but I can't force him.

"Hey, you wanna come to the Grocery Store with me?" I ask him, as I put on my jacket and double check that I have my purse with me. At first he looks reluctant but he nods, getting off the sofa to put some shoes and his jacket on. 

Normally we'd walk to the Grocery Store, but today we take the car as our kitchen is pretty much bare, so we're going to have to buy a lot of stuff. As we drive to the store, Brendon doesn't speak. Instead, he gazes out the window and I notice him anxiously tapping his foot.

"Babe, are you okay?" I ask, my voice laced with concern. I know that him tapping his foot is a sign that he's feeling really anxious and overwhelmed.

"Yeah" He replies, his voice quiet but it's the tone he uses when he's lying. 

"We can wait in the car for a bit before we go in if you want?" I suggest.

"I'm fine, okay? Will you just drop it?" He snaps, causing me to jump slightly. For the rest of the journey, we sit in an awkward silence. As we pull up at the Grocery Store, I resist the urge to slam my door. I know that something's wrong with him but there was no need to snap at me. 

We walk around the aisles, each placing things in the cart as we go around. Brendon seems even more withdrawn than he did before, walking round almost in a zombie state. But, I notice his eyes darting around anxiously and his chest is rising and falling quicker than normal. Just as we're approaching the tills, a large group of teenagers come in, shouting and giggling to each other excitedly. One of them spots Brendon and they instantly run up to him, surrounding him like a pack of hyenas. 

I stand a short distance away, knowing that none of them will want me photo bombing them. Brendon smiles at them, giving them hugs and taking selfies with them, but there's a look of panic on his face. Eventually they all leave, satisfied with their selfies. Brendon now has tears in his eyes and he looks as if he's struggling to catch his breath. He looks around quickly before running out of the store. Abandoning the cart, I run after him and catch up with him, just as he's trying and failing to get into the car.

I quickly reach into my pocket for the keys and unlock the car, allowing him to get inside. I climb in after him just as his panic attack reaches it's climax.

"Brendon, listen to me. You're going to be okay, breathe with me, okay? In for 4, hold, out for 4. Okay? Keep doing it?" I say, my voice soft. I place a hand on his shoulder, to draw his attention to my voice. Eventually he listens and he begins to breathe along with my instructions. After a few minutes, his breathing begins to calm down and his tears subside.

"It got too much, everything's too much at the moment" He says, sobbing softly. I lean over, putting an arm around him and pulling him as close to me as the car will allow. He buries his head into my chest and I stroke his hair, doing my best to soothe him.

"I knew something wasn't right, I just didn't want to push you. You know you can talk to me, about anything. I'm not here to judge you, I care about you and love you more than anything. Whatever you're going through, we'll get through it together. I'm not going anywhere" I say, lifting his head from my chest and wiping the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I don't even know what's wrong, I just feel like shit all the time. It's not that I'm ungrateful, I know that I'm lucky but I just feel so sad. I've just been too ashamed to speak up about it" He explains and it breaks my heart.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, you hear me? Anyone can struggle and just because you feel sad, it doesn't mean you're ungrateful. We all need help sometimes and that's okay. But, what's not okay is you bottling it up. Brendon Boyd Urie you mean the absolute world for me and I'd do anything for you. So, even if you don't want to speak to anyone else about things, you can speak to me. In fact, I demand you speak to me" I say and he chuckles at the last part. His breathing is now back to normal and he's no longer crying. 

"I love you, I don't know what I did to deserve you but I thank the universe for you every single day. I think I might find a therapist or someone to speak to, I've been putting it off for a long time but you're right, I shouldn't feel ashamed" He says, flashing me a smile.

"I'll support you with whatever you decide and if you need me at appointments, then I'll be there" I lean over and place my lips against his. He cups my face in his hands and I feel a surge of love towards him. Like him, I thank the universe everyday too.

Ahhh this isn't the best, but I tried.