Never Let Me Go (Renesmee & Jacob Twilight Fanfiction) 2020

Thirteen - Out of options

When they arrived at Jacob's house, Renesmee took off her helmet, walked straight into the house, headed to Jacob's room and sat on the bed. He followed in quickly after her and sat next to her looking concerned.

"Ness are you ok? What happened back there?" He asked. She took a while to answer, still reeling in her head.

"I'm not sure, I didn't like it. As I kissed him on the cheek I got an impulse, my throat hurt and I got dragged in by his scent. I honestly thought I was doing so well. I'm now back to square one" she said.

He moved over to her and gave her a big hug, it felt like she hadn't been hugged like that in years, but realised it had really just been a few days.

It had been so horrid fighting with Jacob and now felt so amazing being hugged by him again.

"I'm really sorry about what I did," he said whilst cuddling her and stroking her hair. "I had my reasons but it still doesn't make it any better, I didn't mean to upset you."

She was ready to let it all go, she'd missed him much more than she realised.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore Jake," she replied, then broke away and looked at him. "I'm sorry too for how I reacted, it was childish, I just seemed to be taken over by some sort of rage, I couldn't help it. I just need my friend back right now, if that's ok? Because I honestly don't think I can go through with tomorrow, if I felt a twinge of something just now, goodness knows what will happen if I go on a date with him," she said.

"You'll be fine," Jacob said. "I honestly believe that. I've not been malicious in what I've been doing. I trust you that's all. Plus I thought that the help you were asking of me could do more harm than good to our friendship," he said.

"It doesn't really matter now anyway. You say you can trust me, but I can't trust myself."

"Ness, you'll be fine," Jacob tried, grabbing her hand.

"I so want to believe you Jake, I desperately want to go on this date, but I don't believe I can get through it without hurting him."

"If I had to put all my money on someone I trust to always do the right thing, it would be you. You are the most amazing person I know. You'd never hurt anyone, no matter what feelings crept up inside. You are my astounding Renesmee," he said passionately.

"I love that you have so much faith in me, I really do, but I can't have the same faith in myself. I know what's inside me waiting to come out, it's ready, it wants to strike and I won't let it. I can't go on that date tomorrow," she said with a tone of finality.

He made a movement, then spoke,

"Then you leave me no option, I just hope this doesn't mess us up," he said, then leant forward and kissed her gently.

She was taken aback slightly as she'd not been expecting it, but she soon relaxed, keen to test her defences inside. She increased the intensity of the kiss and still felt fine. She was amazed at how kissing Jacob didn't feel weird, she could almost forget it was Jacob, it was pleasant, he had soft lips which seemed to massage hers. She was so happy that she'd not had any huge primal instinct erupt from her so far, she had one last quick test and then would break away from him.

She upped the stakes by exploring his mouth with her tongue, it brushed with his. Suddenly everything changed, he pushed her down onto his bed and within an instant she was in his cocoon again, kissing each other with a passion she'd only read about or seen in movies. She could no longer pretend it was anyone else, this was Jacob she was kissing and every part of it felt amazing. Their bodies interlocked in his cocoon, her head spinning, everything in her mind was filled with Jacob.