Herophine - Short Stories

It's Always Been...You (3)

When I wake up I feel small in this bed alone, Jo has shared my bed many a time, normally we pass out drunk talking about wherever we have been so it's unusual, she doesn't normally get out and move to her own sleeping place. Why did she this time? I know what she did, I felt her leaning down over me, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. I lay still, hoping she didn't notice I was still awake. When she said goodnight I nearly replied but stopped myself from blowing my fake sleeping cover. After she fell asleep I lay tossing and turning most of the night, resulting in feeling like hell this morning. I roll over, gently proding sleepy beauty on the floor to wake her.

'Morning' she whispers, barely peeking up through her long lashes. Her hair is messy and she looks cute in her sleepy state.

'Morning, why'd you jump ship in the night?' I ask, genuinely curious at her ditching me just past midnight.

'Urm, I got to hot. You are like a human radiator. Sweating all over me it was gross' she's laughing but I know Jo, she's lying. I have know this woman since I was 7, we have grown up in each others pockets. I know everything there is to know about Josephine Langford, especially when she tries to lie. She shifts on the spot, her eyes scan the entire room before she looks at me everytime she has tried to fool me in the past. That is exactly what is happening now but I won't probe further. I'll leave her and whatever reason she moved alone.

After a quick shower to wake myself up I plod back to my room, as I open the door I stand in complete shock.

'Hero! Shut your eyes quick. Shut them!' she screams in panic.

Oh shit! I never knock, why would I start now. I didn't know she would be stood in just her knickers. Fuck me, this is the first time I've ever seen Jo like this, and I saw all of Jo during that awkward walk in. I instantly screw my eyes shut and turn at her pleading squeals as she covers her bare chest. I knew she had boobs but now I really know, I can't unsee that. Fuck! She is so shy and timid, never dates and I know for fact she hasnt kissed a guy but seeing her in this light I don't know how the hell she is still pure and untouched. She is fucking hot. Clothed she is beautiful but naked she sexy, curvy and womanly. I can't turn around right now, if I do she will see how seeing her made my body react. I walk back to the bathroom and take a seat on the tub trying to stop the growing in my boxers. Fucking hell Jo!

When I return Jo is clearly flustered but I stride over, holding her tight in my arms, I feel her relax into me as she wraps her arms around my waist, since she is five foot fuck all her head rests closer to my stomach than my chest.

'I'm sorry, but on the bright side it isn't the first time I saw your knickers. Remember how you flashed me the first day we met' I chuckle as I feel her face turn towards me and her eyes glaring. She tickles me and storms off like a brat but I know she is just messing. I follow behind her, grabbing my bag and slipping on my trainers as we leave the house. We stop for a coffee and she grabs the donuts as we wait for the bus. Our usual routine, one that I have come to cherish more than I care to admit.

After talking about the trip and where we are going with our geography class, we slide into conversation for the weekend, it's only Monday but Jo likes to know in advance, everything has to be planned. I swear she has OCD or something.

'I can't make Friday but the guys will be at the park as normal. We can do something Saturday though, you staying over?' I ask as I see her brain ticking over as to why I won't be around Friday. I haven't told her about my plans with Rosie yet, I don't know how to. Don't get me wrong I know Jo will be cool with it but talking to her about a girl is just wierd, having stayed away from females during our entire friendship this is not a topic we have ever spoke about.

I've never been interested in female attention, why would I when I love the girl I spend all my time with, I knew I loved her when I sat beside her at break and she pulled the crust of my sandwich. That small act was all it took. I have never left her side since. I watched her grow from the shy girl with no friends to the playful, outgoing teenager whom boys drooled over to the version now, a woman with dreams and goals. I hoped by now Jo would have developed some kind of feelings for me but nothing, no matter how close I try to get she is oblivious. She has always been my best friend, never showing any signs that she cares for me the way I have longed for.

'Oh, date night with Rosie? I heard you on the phone last night' she says flatly. Her tone isn't off but it isn't cheery either, matter of fact if anything. The thought of telling her about Rosie crossed my mind, I hoped Rosie would annoy her in some way. I wanted something, even a hint of jealousy to show me she feels more than friendship but clearly I am fighting a losing battle, just like the last 11 years. Fuck!

'Yeah, cinema. If I finish up early I will text you' I reply, my chest heavy at the realisation that maybe dating someone will be the only way to help me get over my fascination with Jo. The time I spend day dreaming about telling her I love her, having her run into my arms, living out a happily ever after together, the way I always watch her lick her lips wishing I could kiss them, god I have thought that so many times. I have even contemplated doing it drunk, that way if she hates it I could blame being intoxicated but I never had the nerve. Instead I have watched on the sidelines for years, luckily she never dated. I think that would have killed me. We just stayed in our bubble for all these years, together but when Rosie persuaded me to go out I thought why not. I'm a grown ass man now, I have urges I want to explore. Even if I wanted it to be with Jo, that isnt going to happen. I see that now.

'Dont worry about it. I hope you have a nice time' she smiles whilst sipping her coffee, staring out at passing traffic. I hope you have a nice time! It would be better if you were my date, not Rosie. Her words piss me off do I remain silent for the rest of the journey and most of the trip.

After school I walk Jo home, talking about the shite trip we had to endure for most of the day, along with the paper we have to write about it. When we reach her street she turns on her heels and stares at me, she states for too long it feels like she is inspecting me. She opens her mouth to speak but stops, thinking of something else to say I assume by the look on her face. My heart is about to exit my chest as I stare into those eyes, they pull me everytime.

'See you tomorrow' she says flippantly with a smile.

'Sure thing. 8am be there or be square' I laugh as I make my way home. I grab my phone from my pocket to out on some music, my playlist consists of tunes that remind me of Jo. The hot song currently being The Struts - Could have been me. Ironic really. I see a message showing on the screen.

✉️ Rosie - Hey, hope you had a fun trip today? Can't wait for Friday!! X

I should be excited or atleast looking forward to seeing her but I'm not. I need to get Jo out my head, it's a dead end for sure as much as it pisses me off to admit. I'm going to be the guy who watches the love of his life fall in love, fuck I'll even be the one to console her if she goes wrong and kill the guy responsible. I see it now, sad act stood beside watching her live out her dreams, to scared to tell her how I feel. Fuck my life! Rosie however is interested, she seems cool. We chatted and I did like her I guess, maybe now is the time to explore my feelings with someone who reciprocate them atleast. The guys are always giving me shit for never having a girlfriend, even though they haven't either. Bunch of wankerz, they always tease Jo and I about being a married couple already but she brushes it off as do I.

I decide to reply to Rosie, I'm kind of hit and miss which is shitty of me.

Rosie ✉️ Yeah, as exciting as map reading goes, atleast I can find my way out of a valley with my new found skills. Me to, See you Friday.

Without thinking I start typing out a new message.

Jojo ✉️ Write my paper for me, I can't be arsed 😘 x

As soon as I put my phone in my pocket, it beeps and I tug it out in a rush hoping she replied, I like our back and forth insults.

Rosie ✉️ You sure will x x x

I don't bother replying, I am not about to start texting for the sake of it. I'm not that guy or that eager, even if I have decided to try this whole cinema date shit.

I spend the night with my family, dinner, shower, x box and head to bed. Still no reply from Jo, must be that time of the month since she seemed abit off today but I know better than to make jokes. She once threatened to plug my nose in my sleep with those sweetie wrapper looking things. She must be busy. I lay back thinking about what she could be upto whilst scrolling through my gallery at all our pictures, my phone is full of us. I decide to call it a night when my eyes get heavy.