Herophine - Short Stories

Lost..... (3)

December 20th

‘I’m home’ I state as I wipe my feet and enter the cosy setting which Jo has been sharing with me and Diesel.

'We’re in here making mince pies or at least trying to' Jo replies with a soft giggle in her tone.

The smell of baking consumes my nostrils, the cinnamon and pastry smells delicious making my mouth water in anticipation. I stride into the kitchen and spot my 2 favourite people by the island with an array of cooking utensils and ingredients lay out in front of them. Diesel’s nose is white from icing sugar which makes me laugh in amusement. She treats my dog like a child, she fusses and kisses him and he laps it up laying down for belly rubs and even at times choosing to snuggle with jo rather than me but I don’t mind to much. Its very sweet to watch, Jo genuinely loves animals this I know from seeing her in action when she helped save my boy for which I will be forever grateful.

After agreeing to stay I knew I had to try and make something of my life, Jo was my life line in all honesty. She treated me like a man, not a tramp. She gave me shelter without hesitation, she helped me get a job at Crumbs of all places but I love it. I have purpose and I’m ace at making an iced frappes with a hint of caramel syrup and chocolate topping which turns out to be her favourite, so I always make sure to bring her one home after my shifts. I can finally say I have a life, a home and what makes me most proud is I can repay some of the kindest Jo gave me freely. I earn a wage for the first time in my life, she has shown me how to live rather than survive. Every moment with her has been magical, the more time I spend with her the more I dread when Christmas is over and Diesel and I go off to find a home of our own.  

'Why such a serious face, what’s eating you?’ she asks trying to figure out my sombre facial expression. This type of thought crosses my mind on repeat and always shifts my mood from happy to sad within seconds but I don’t wish to trouble her with this she has done more than anyone should or has in my life.

'Nothing, just trying to recall if I switched the alarm on at work when leaving’ I lie and make my way to join them. She shrugs, not really believing me but doesn’t probe me further which I’m relieved about. After an hour or so off frosting, icing, eating and bloating we all make our way into the living room to relax.

'So I don’t usually bother but since I have guests this year, I got a tree!’ Jo squeals as she reveals a huge box and an assortment of decorations. I stand staring at the box not quite sure how to react, a tree. An actual Christmas tree for us to decorate and admire. I’ve never had a tree in my life, My junkie mother never did anything for Christmas nor did the children’s home I spent a few months at so this seems slightly unreal to me. I don’t know how to act so I awkwardly smile and do a strange yay type of gesture. Jo falls on the floor in laughter, its contagious and I jump to my feet to grab her hands and lift her in an attempt to stop her giggling but as I reach for her hands and pull her towards me I don’t hesitate and before I can think this through my lips softly touch hers. It feels like nothing I have ever felt, her gentle, tender lips on mine shifts my entire being and I think this could be what love feels like when it courses into your body and around your heart, a heart I wasn’t sure was there or that it had anything worth giving. My chest is beating fast as I embrace her, her dainty hands reach around my neck and she touches the hair on my neck which only encourages my lips to press against her harder. I don’t want this to stop, I don’t want this feeling to leave my body but then she pulls away and takes all of me with her. I stand staring at her intently, my chest empty and my palms sweaty. I start to panic.

'Jo, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I, I’m an idiot’ I say, regret apparent as my words leave my mouth. Jo walks towards me, closing the gap between us and placing her hand on my cheek.