Herophine - Short Stories

It's Always Been...You (5)

For the first time in my life I feel nervous, I used to spend all my time with Jo and the guys but lately I haven't been around much, as I knock the door I try to hide my shaking hands. I expect them to be pissed off but hopefully they accept my apology. Seems dating requires alot of effort and Rosie doesn't take lightly to being ignored. Fuck, I have had the worst experience with her. I honestly thought it would be like my time with Jo, effortless and fun but it was neither of them. I'm glad that's over and done with especially when she started to want more from me, she was like a fucking octopus, hands all over me and I knew in that moment I needed to get the fuck out of their. The idea of sleeping with her made my skin crawl, not because she was hot but because I wanted that to be special. I wanted that to be with Jo, even now that she hates me. When Morgz opens the door I think his jaw will hit the floor.

'Hey Bro, look I owe you a big apology. I went MIA but I'm done with all that shit now. Can you maybe forget the past 3 months?' I ask, hoping he can see my words are genuine.

'Come here bruv, bros over ho's yeah! Maybe jot that down for next time' he pulls me in for a hug and grips me shoulders.

'You know Jo is here don't you? And by here, I mean here here. Blowing the place up looking all lady like man. She has it going on' he smiles, I can't help but swallow as I recall the image of walking in on her. Fuck, I have no idea what I am about to see in there but I sure as hell have missed her.

I feel Like I can breathe again, hopefully build some bridges after acting like an ass the past few months. The biggest bridge I need to mend is with Jo. Fuck my life has been shit without her, after she met Rosie she didn't come by anymore, even ignored my texts. The updates I got was from the guys now and then. I tried not to hound her, knowing she was clearly pissed at me for something. It was jealousy, it was something deeper but I couldn't tell you what the hell it was. All I knew is she was either sick of me and this was her chance to break away or she was maybe dating someone. Both thoughts broke me. Rosie was a distraction I think, but it didn't last. I would sit thinking about Jo through movies, dates, even when I stayed over. My head or heart just wasn't in it for Rosie.

When I walk into the kitchen the guys give me a few looks but soon come round after I apologise, I spit her as soon as I enter but try not to state. Fuck me she looks stunning, she always does but this is different this is Jo the woman, not the girl I grew up admiring. My cock instantly twitches and I quickly take a seat in front of her. When I spoke to her she shrugged me off, I need to get out of here before I fucking cry or smash something. Why is she being so distant, I want my Jo back. I need my Jo to come back and rest in my arms. Nothing has felt right without her being part of it.

I spark up a smoke trying to figure out how the hell I win back my girl. She obviously hates me but why? She didn't even bother when I mentioned Rosie so it can't be that.

'Yo yo my guy H. Killing yourself again I see. That shit is nasty you know' Morgz strides up beside me waving away the cloud of smoke.

'So you going to fill me in on what I have missed around here or just complain whilst inhaling my fog' I laugh back in return.

'I guess I can divulge some information my good friend. What has been going on? Not alot, same shit different day. I made up for your absence with Jojo'. His words fire up something inside me, what the fuck does he mean her made up for it. If he and her have done anything I swear friendship or not I'll kill him. Calm the fuck down, he has known you his whole life, he wouldn't. Be casual, act cool.

'Oh yeah. How d that work out for you. Guessing the sleepovers weren't a thing though bro?' I say needing him to ease my mind.

'Woah, cool it H. I helped by being around, no funny shit went down. I was trying to be her girlfriend but she sacked me. Told me that they don't talk like that or some shit. I just made sure she wasn't left out, like what you did to her. That was a dick move bro. And when the hell are you going to own up to this shit and tell her the truth' he questions but surprises me with his words.

'Eh? I haven't lied to her?' I reply.

'Really H, your gonna play me like that. I have eyes, I see what is going on. Damn bro I thought we were life long buddies and your throwing out shade on the fact you love her and have done since we were 7. We all know' he spits, looking pissed the fuck off. I stand silent, not a fucking word comes from my mouth as I replay over what he just said to me. I take a pull on my smoke.

'Get it together H. If it helps, it's mutual. You two have always been perfect but to fucking stubborn to say it first. Go in there and tell her because if you don't you'll regret it. I mean it, get your shit together' he walks off leaving me to process his speech. Fuck, how the hell am I so transparent. He said it was mutual, he fucking said that to me. I feel the blood riding through my body, my chest is pounding and adrenaline rushes through my body. I chuck the cigarette, practically marching back into the house where I make my way to Jo. She looks at me as I approach and I take her hand in mine pulling her to her feet. I opt to have this conversation without an audience and lead her to the closest room I find. Jack's room.

'What the fuck Hero. You can't just man handle me like nothing has happened. I am pissed at you and don't feel much like having a chat' she hisses whilst crossing her arms in defence. Sassy Jo always makes me smile but now is not the time.

'Look I'm sorry. I hate how we drifted apart so much, Jo this has been hard on me to. I miss you, I miss us hanging out and doing everything together. I fucked up, I dated Rosie and left you behind. I want to make this right between us' I beg.

'Drifted apart. Your girlfriend was a bitch to me Hero and you just stood there. You didn't even bother with me. Where is she anyway' she asks, her eyes are teary, her words laced with anger.

'Was' I state flatly.

'Was what? Spit it out, I no longer read minds it didn't pay very well' she says smugly, she's being defensive trying to use humour on me as a barrier. I'm not falling for that shit. I need Jo to open up so we can sort this mess out.

'Was my girlfriend. I ended it. I don't want to date Rosie. Look I am sorry, this all got out of hand. I.....'. I pause, what the fuck do I say to her. I can tell her the truth or I can just apologise, hope to mend what I broke. Can I carry on watching her from the sidelines? If I have to go on like I have for 3 months I'll go insane. I can't date women and think of Jo all the while. Why does she look so hot when she's angry. Fuck!

'So your sorry yeah? Now we kiss and make up, skip down the path hand in hand, go back to our old ways of sleepovers until what Hero. The next Rosie appears and you leave me as quickly as possible. I don't fucking think so. You broke my heart, you know that don't you. You've been the biggest part of my life, since I was 7 and as soon as Blondie came along you forgot me, you forgot us and it hurt Hero. It fucking hurts' Tears fall from her eyes and I realise in that moment that I never want to be the one to make her cry, I didn't know I had hurt her like this. My heart is aching as I watch her sob in front of me.

Instinctively I pull her into my arms leaning my head on hers to comfort her. I have done this before but never been the cause of her upset. Fuck this hurts. She wraps her arms around my waist giving me a confidence and courage to make this right. I can't pretend any longer. I have balls, ai am a man about time I acted like one. I lift her chin gently as I wipe the tears leaving her eyes and I place my lips on hers. My body ignites at the contact. I pour everything I have into this kiss and when her lips move with mine I feel a shift, something inside me changed in that very moment. I pull away and state into the watery pools of blue looking at me.

'Josephine Langford you are the only person I have ever loved in my entire life, from the moment I saw you awkwardly tugging your skirt from your knickers to standing in my arms right now. I love you. I have been a fucking prick by not telling you, I sure as hell wanted to but lost my damn nerve. I don't want another Blondie, well not unless it's you' I kiss her lips again to confirm my confession and when her tongue meets mine I internally groan at the sensation. Tasting her for the first time. Fuck this is the most intoxicating feeling in the world.

'Hero, I love you. I hate you right now but I love you' she whispers into our kiss, pulling a grin across my face. I'm a smug bastard right now.

'How about a sleepover tonight Jojo, we can talk this through and maybe by morning you will agree to being my girlfriend. I mean it is Saturday after all this is our sleepover nights' I say slightly demanding rather than asking. She nods in agreement and I want to jump for fucking joy at the idea of my girl being back in my life.