His Home

𝟑𝟎 || 𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟

It was a silent drive home and where i didn't know what to say or do and neither did he.

"Why do you do this?" I ask shaking my head and putting my hands on my temples.

"What?" He asks, "You keep switching up, One minute you'll wanna kill me the next you fuck me and then you're holding me??? I cant keep up." I answer him.

He sighed, "I don't fucking know Cassie." He said walking around the room.

"I wish i didn't just keep doing this.." I say as my leg is tapping against the floor.

"What do you mean?" He asked sitting besides me.

"I can't control myself when i'm with you." I say looking up into his green eyes.

"I can't either." He said exhaling.

"What do you mean Damien?" I ask, "Every time i'm around you i lose myself... I don't want to be.. Weak." He mumbled.

I looked at him confused, Weak? How do i make him weak?

"How would i make you weak?" I wanted to know, How do i make him weak? What about me makes someone like him weak.

"Caring means weakness. Love means weakness." He says in his deep voice staring down at his shoes.

"That doesn't mean weakness." I stand up and face him as he's still sitting down on the couch, "Love and caring makes you strong and if you think it makes you weak.. Then maybe you really are weak for avoiding it!" I yell.

"Weak? How am i weak for not loving or caring?" He stood up.

"Because love and care makes you strong not weak.. And you're avoiding that." I say grabbing onto his hand.

He throws my hand away and says, "That's not what i've been told Cassie."

"Well what you've told isn't true." I say crossing my shoulders and shrugging.

He sighed, "Cassie you don't know what you're talking about, You may think it makes you strong but it doesn't." He tried walking away but then i grab onto his muscular arm.

"It does!" I yell "Why do you think that??!"

"It's all i ever have known Cassie. It's what i've been raised to learn, And you saying it was all for nothing makes me really fucking angry." He says filled with anger.

Raised to learn? I didn't understand.

"I just don't understand you Damien... One second you're kissing me next you're wanting to kill me, Hurry up and choose!!" I yell pushing his chest.

He doesn't flinch or move as i'm pushing his chest, He cups my face and he looks confused on what he's going to do or say.

He was so close i could feel each movement as he was breathing.

As i looked up to him i could see the desire in his eyes as he met my gaze.

His lips touched mine and in that moment and everything bad happen had been forgotten as his lips were on mine. We fell lost in each other.

We make our way to his bedroom and he holds me as we're making out, His hands all over my body.

***

I wake up from my nap, Damien still asleep with his arms around me.

I hope he doesn't wake up, Change his mind and yell like he always does. Scare himself.

I hear a deep breathe let out brush my neck by Damien, "Are you awake?" I ask him. "Yeah." He says quietly.

"I don't know what any if this means." Damien says to me.

"Me neither Damien." I reply confused. What do we do now.

Damien Flashback

"Good job on killing Lucky, Son." Father said nodding his head.

"Thank you.. Dad." I say as my cheeks are still wet from the tears.

"You proved to me, You're not weak. Besides those tears... " He scoffed, "You still did it."

I didn't reply and just sat down. This was all mothers fault.

I go outside in the backyard to see Tana hovering over Lucky's body.

I furrow my eyebrows confused, What is she doing?

I walk up and see she has a knife in her hand over Lukcy's body.

"What are you going Tana?" I ask eyeing the knife in her hand.

She drops the knife and faces my way, "What do you mean?"

"Well you just had a knife over her body Tana.." I say.

"It was nothing." Her child self smiled and walked away skipping.

I follow her inside and Mother has more coke on the table, I take a breath in.

"Not going to blow this one away, Huh?" Mother scoffed and rolled her eyes.
Then snorted the line on the table in front of her.

"I won't Mother." I look down at my shoes.

I go into the kitchen and grab a apple. "Oh, Honey you're not allowed to eat today."

"Why?" I ask putting the apple back.

"Because, It's a selfish act after what you just did." She said as she was wiping the bottom of the nose with her finger.

I let out a deep breathe and sit down on the couch, Wondering when this will all be over. "I killed Lucky for what i did... For you all. To prove i wasn't weak and now i'm not allowed to eat?"

"You're actions have consequences and that's what happening." She said as she grabbed the apple i was going to eat and she ate it.

"And the consequence i had was killing Lucky!" I raise my voice.

"Get to you're room! NOW!" Mother yelled standing up.

"Listen to you're mother! Get to you're room." Father backed me away to my bedroom and i went in there, Stayed in there for days.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Writing this while watching bojack horseman lol on the second last episode omg. Comfort show for reall.

I hope you're enjoying reading this story, It means so much to me.

If you have any questions or anything you'd like to say feel free.