Our Little Forever ➳ Camila Cabello

thirty-nine

I explained the same thing to the girls and they offered to send me to rehab. I offered to jump off a cliff if that happened which shut them right up.

We all decided to put it passed each other for now and not wallow in this moment only because this is the first week we've got to be together.

So, after a late night in Sydney, we decided we wanted to go back and rest after this exhausting and emotional day.

I had been laying in bed trying to focus on a good subject to go to sleep to when Camila climbed under the covers and scooted close to spoon me and put one arm out so that I'd have to meet her hand and hold it. Her mouth was resting on my neck and she talked softly, "I really really really love you."

"I really love you, too." I responded, rubbing the top of her hand softly with my thumb.

"No, but I really love you." She responded once more.

I rolled my eyes and sat up to look at her, "Please don't treat me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm made of fucking glass. I'm not gonna break and try to off myself every time I hear something bad."

"How do I know that?" Camila's eyes had a clear glaze over them as she licked her lips nervously. "You've been keeping all of this from me for so long that I don't know what to think."

"This is why I didn't want to tell you."

"Babe, I need you to tell me things. Secrets aren't good anymore. That's what our relationship began with and I don't want it to end it like this. We've already lost a kid. Don't make me lose you too." Camila begged with her voice rasping on and off out of the emotional state I put her in.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. I genuinely was.

She had a point. I didn't want her to lose me and I didn't want to lose her either. I felt more than terrible about all of this. Seeing her cry in front of me was my absolute worst fear. I wasn't scared of heights or sharks, I was scared of her not being happy. The worst part was that I was the cause of her unhappiness.

"It's fine." She sniffled, wiping her tears off of the bed sheets. "But ca-can I-" She stopped instantly.

"Can you what?"

"Can I see?" She asked innocently.

"Babe, I really don't think you-"

"Please!" She begged with a twinkle in her eyes and lips ready to pout.

I bit my lip nervously and contemplated it before holding my arms out to her. Her eyes widened seeing every little cut and slit on my pure skin. I could see her start to tear up more. I would've pulled my arms away but she had her hands latched onto my wrists so I couldn't move.

"Did it hurt?"

I nodded, "Kinda."

"Kinda?"

"Yeah." I responded, not needing to go further.

Although, everyone knows how much Camila loves to pry deeper into a topic. "How did it feel if it didn't hurt completely?"

I shrugged, "I dunno. It kind of just released my stress after a few seconds, I guess, but it hurts for a while after."

Camila softly ran her fingers over a fresh wound and examined it, "Is this one new?"

"Sure."

"Y/N, do not lie to me. When did you do this?" Her voice was stern as she looked me in my eyes so she could tell if I was being honest.