Our Little Forever ➳ Camila Cabello

forty-seven

CAMILA'S POV

I know I'm not a good enough driver to just peel out onto the Houston streets but I didn't care.

Do you know how absolutely annoying it is to be told what not to do? Like you're a baby?

Sure, I may act like one half the time but people underestimate me. They don't realize that I can think for myself. They don't realize my brain is just as functional as theirs. Maybe even more functional if they give me a chance.

I didn't want to say yes to Taylor but she just wouldn't quit bothering me so what else can I do? You can't just drop kick a friend like Taylor Swift. She'd probably write a hit song about how I'm an asshole if I did that.

And why would I want to get rid of her? Why can't I be friends with my faves? What's the point in everyone getting so upset about this?

I stopped off at a restaurant. I didn't care what they served or how they served it. I just wanted to sit alone and eat. My mind was everywhere. I couldn't think straight. I just felt so lost.

"How many people will be in your party, Miss?" A hostess asked me sweetly.

"Oh, uh, Just one." I half smiled as the lady nodded and directed me to a booth in the back.

She left a menu and asked, "What can I get for you to drink?"

"Water." I licked my lips to answer her shortly. The lady nodded and was on her way.

I looked over the menu and decided to get a salad. It was cheap and I probably wouldn't have touched most of it. I didn't really want to eat. I just needed a place to think without sitting in the house with them.

I laid my head down on the table and exhaled deeply.

With all this drama happening to Y/N, I thought this whole Taylor debacle would just fly by.

It's true. They did talk to me about it once before. I just didn't listen.

It was a cold day as the bus traveled through a small town to get to the next gig. I was curled up on Dinah while we watched The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

"Dinah." I whispered to the bigger girl to get her attention away from the screen.

"Shh." She scolded me, "I'm trying to watch this."

"I just wanna ask a question." I sighed, looking down at the floor of the RV.

Dinah clicked her tongue and pulled me close, "Is it about that bruise on your ass. 'Cause I thought that it-"

"No!" I laughed, lightly nudging her. "Taylor has been bugging me to do a cameo with her on her tour. I was wondering-"

"Oh hell nah." Dinah exclaimed, pushing me off of her so she could get up and bang on the wood of the bunks. "GROUP MEETING. GET YOUR ASSES UP NOW."

"Fuck, Dinah." Lauren replied, rubbing the sleep out of her green eyes. "Can't this wait until we get to-"

"No." She responded back, pulling Ally's curtain open and grabbing the small girl to carry her to the lounge couch.

Everyone shuffled into the lounge and I curled up to get deeper into the covers. I didn't want to talk about this with all of them because they can be so cruel.

Dinah took her seat beside me again and quirked her head, "Now, Mila. Tell us all what you just said to me."

I knew that if I fought it they'd all gang up on me and it would make this moment worse. "It's only a question so don't get mad. Okay?" Everyone nodded at me with tired expressions. "Okay." I paused to take a deep breath. "Taylor has been asking me to do a song with her on her tour. Kinda like a cameo." They all woke up a little bit more to listen further. "I was just wondering if it'd be so bad to take her up on her offer."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Lauren laughed. "You're not singing with Taylor Swift. Not unless we're all there." Her voice swiftly became stern as she went deeper into the conversation.

"But Mani got to make music videos by herself." I whined. "Why can't I just do one little performance?"

"Mani danced." Lauren pointed out. "She didn't sing or anything else. And she only did it because Sean asked her to."

"Yeah." Normani shook her head, "I wouldn't have even volunteered."

"I didn't volunteer to sing with Taylor either. She just wants me to. That's all she talks about."

"Look, if it was the fact that she wanted all five of us. We'd be for it." Ally broke into the conversation. "It's just that people already know you more than the rest of us. How do you think that makes us feel?"

"It's not like I mean to have people know me. This is just one hypothetical performance. I'm not saying I'm gonna do it." I responded with a smile, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Good." Lauren nodded, "Because you're not. Hypothetically and Realistically speaking." Lauren got up from the couch to go back to her bunk with the rest of the girls, leaving me alone to think about what just happened.

"Ma'am." The lady nudged me up.

"Sorry." I smiled.

She sat the water in front of me and pulled out a pencil and notepad.

"What can I get for you to eat?" Her whole appearance was friendly. It was nice to see someone be so happy at work.

Lately, my work had brought me anything but happiness.

"Just a Ceasar Salad." I smiled as she scribbled on the pad then walked away.

I heard my phone go off in my bag and decided to check it just in case it was one of the girls wanting to apologize.

It was only my wife.

My Jack Dawson: come home please

Meee!: im eating

My Jack Dawson: lemme come have lunch with you then

Meee!: just stay home. okay? I need to think

My Jack Dawson: what are you thinking about?

Meee!: ..... why do they always have to get so mad at me and make me feel invisible.

My Jack Dawson: because they know it gets under your skin.

My Jack Dawson: in all honesty, I wish they'd pretend I was invisible. lol

Meee!: you'd still be in trouble 😂

My Jack Dawson: yeah I would. but are you still planning on performing with Taylor

Meee!: I have no choice. I already promised her.

My Jack Dawson: well if you un-promise her, the girls will be nice again.

Meee!: fuck that. they always get their way. I have to scream in interviews to be heard. I'm done.

My Jack Dawson: what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Meee!: it means that if they can't let me make my own decisions, then I guess after the VMAs, we can become Fourth Harmony

My Jack Dawson: please stop

Meee!: I need to eat. talk to you later, baby

Was I being dramatic? Maybe.

Do I want to give up being 1/5 of the best girl group in the world? No.

But what else can I do when I feel so suffocated and unwanted by four of my best friends.

+

a/n:

I wasn't going to update today but I noticed that this book is actually doing really well and that makes my heart v happy. I love you all. I really do. -agf