Our Little Forever ➳ Camila Cabello

fifty-four

We've been rehearsing for our VMAs performance for weeks on end. The girls and I still aren't talking and what's worse is that I don't have my wife to talk to about it.

But Demi called me the other day and told me that Y/N had officially started cleansing treatments and was actually in a positive place.

The only thing she warned me about as that it would be harder out of the facility and that she would be around to help Y/N and I if we needed it.

The now faint mark on my leg was a reminder of the last days I had seen my wife. That beautiful and intelligent woman was so far away from me. I've been wanting to visit her everyday since we've been in LA but the facility doesn't allow visitations this early in a patients treatments.

"Karla!" Dinah yelled out from across the room. "You're supposed to be dancing. Get out of your dream world."

I looked at the wall covered in a huge mirror and blew out a harsh breath as the music started up again.

The girls were so tempted to kick me out of the number for the VMAs because I haven't told them my choice yet. The only reason why I haven't told them is because I'm still fighting with myself about it.

I don't mean to be this wishy washy but this is a big deal on its own. I could go over a thousands why I shouldn't do the show with Taylor and why I should but I don't really want to get into it.

I need to focus on the girls right now and this performance. It could be big for all of us since people from all over the world watch this one award show. We could officially be something bigger if we perform on stage.

"Camila," Sean begged as the music stopped. "You need to get this right. The performance is tomorrow and we don't have much time."

"Fucking pay attention and stop thinking about you're blonde ass girlfriend." Lauren growled at me from across the room.

"Fuck off, Lauren." I rolled my eyes as I looked in the refeclection and saw the taller Cuban.

Sean scratched the back of this head and turned his SnapBack around, "How about we all take ten."

Everyone nodded and we all dispersed to different areas. I went outside with a bottle of water to sit on the curb of the building. Luckily, we were on a lot so I could be at peace just sitting outside without worrying someone would break my thinking process.

I looked at the gloomy sky and wondered what Y/N was looking at right now, what she was thinking, if she was even thinking about me. I know she loves those gloomy days where the air is perfect and the sun isn't too bright.

This is the kind of day she would grab me and make me come outside with her. We would usually just lay out on the grass at her Uncle's or my house and just wait for the possibility of rain but it would never come. It was just a row of endless clouds that we would hold each other under.

I remember those times when it was less complicated. When we were just two kids in love. The secret wasn't too bad all the time. We had more privacy then because no one expected much from the both of us. We could kiss, hug, fuck, cuddle and no one would bother us. Sure, we were always afraid we would eventually get caught but the moments I spent with her then were the starting points for the rest of our lives.

Did I put her through too much? Yes. And I regret it every day of my life. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

But what would she want me to do? 'Follow your heart'. I can't believe she would say such a cliche thing. I just want the right answer that will keep my life in tact.

"Come on, Camila." Ally said, poking her head out of the door. "We're starting again."

I nodded and took a sip of the bottle before heading to my doom once again.