Our Little Forever ➳ Camila Cabello

fifty

Scooter helped me back to the bus by holding me up with a strong latch on my waist. My legs were like jello at this point only because I felt so weak. We stopped to turn in the prescription and get the pills which helped me a lot.

I knew I shouldn't have taken them but at this point, I'm too far down in the deep end to come back up for air.

He helped me climb up the steps of the bus and when I saw the five people in the lounge, I knew I was fucked.

I put my stitched up hand in my pocket so there wouldn't be any chance of seeing the damage I had done to myself.

"You can leave now, Scoot. I'll be okay." I directed him.

He nodded and glanced over at the girls, "Just call me... if you need something."

I nodded him off and did my best to pass the girls by to get to my bunk but Dinah stepped in front of me to guard that area.

"Please move, Dinah Jane. I'm not in the mood." I frowned, looking over the tall Polynesian and seeing a angry glare stick to her face.

Dinah put her hands on my shoulders to turn me around and placed her hand on the small of my back to guide me to the empty spot on the lounge couch beside Camila.

A quietness filled the bus and I was not ready to deal with what they know. But I wasn't down to take their shit either.

Camila grabbed my arm once I was sat down and saw the stitches. "You said you wouldn't do it anymore."

Ally took a seat beside me too look over the pure skin that had markings all over it and now black thread sewn in once again. "You did this in the restaurant?"

I kept quiet. I didn't want to talk about it. It's better than fighting.

"Of course she did." Lauren blurted out. "Because she doesn't like talking about how she feels which I don't understand. We're all here for you and I thought things were looking up. I knew I couldn't trust you."

"Fuck off, Lauren." I growled in the most angry voice which made my heart beat quickly almost like it did in the car to the hospital. "I don't tell any of you anything because you gang up on each other like this. And I only did it because I was hurting. I just didn't realize I cut so deep."

"We saw the blood on the table." Normani said softly in the corner of the bus. "We didn't notice it until you left."

"Yeah, well, my favorite sweater is ruined now." I sighed out, leaning on a tensed up Camila.

"I don't see why you are taking this so lightly." Lauren said through her teeth. "You almost died."

"I think I did." I honestly spoke. "When I was in the car I think I left. Except it was just dark. There was nothing there. It was like a moment of clarity." I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. I could feel the calming effect of the Percocet and I didn't want to let it go.

"You're high. You don't know what you're talking about." Lauren crossed her legs and leaned back.

"Bullshit." I furrowed my eyebrows at the bigger Cuban. "I wasn't high then. I was bleeding out. Everything just became nothing. I couldn't do anything. It was darkness for miles and miles." I needed to stop this incessive badgering once and for all. "And you know what it made me realize? This bullshit we all do is stupid. I can't believe y'all are still fighting with Camila about this Taylor shit. One night should not break up five sisters."

Ally put her hand on my leg and with a worried voice she begged me, "Please calm down."

"No, Alls." I bit at her. "The ends now. All of this. You all know I don't like Taylor just as much as you guys. But you've been together for three years. Three. Fucking. Years. Doesn't that mean anything?" No one spoke up. "It does to me and it does to those fans out there. Those fans would be heartbroken if you let the devil in red lipstick break up the best bond X-Factor has ever seen." Everyone looked at each other but still kept the silence. "And you all need to stop getting mad at me all the time. I get that you care but I will get help when I really feel I need it. The reason why I crave this feeling is because I'm always into some bullshit. Let me get my life together before I decided to cut this off completely."