The Lonely Bridge (WangXian Fan fiction)✔️

A Lotus and A Jade (2)

*Cloud Recesses*

Lan XiChen steps closer, "Clan Leader," he starts, but Jiang Cheng shakes his head, "Zewu Jun, there are things a man should say out loud. What I am about to tell you will probably change the way you look at me. But I would rather tell you now than let you enter my mind unprepared."

Zewu Jun nods, for he can see how determined Jiang Cheng is, "In that case, please go on."

Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath and sits next to Wei Ying, "I always felt that Wei WuXian was better than me. When we were kids, I envied him. Though I loved him deeply, I always felt that he was more talented, more popular, and more loved than me. My father was very fond of him, as well. Sometimes, no, most of the time, as we grew up, I felt that my father wanted me to be more like him. I felt that I was never good enough. Everything I did, Wei WuXian did better. When Lotus Cove got destroyed, I blamed him. I blamed him for the devastation caused by the Wen's. I blamed Lan Wangji too. I was jealous of their friendship; of their closeness." Jiang Cheng pauses and looks at Zewu Jun, "I became the clan leader, and was scared of what others might think of me if I were too side with him. He was stubborn and did what he wanted; he had no regard for rules or social status. He was untameable, and I panicked. I was scared of being judged. I- I abandoned him. At Evernight, I killed him, blaming him for my sister's death. I spent years blaming him. I did things I am ashamed of..." Jiang Cheng trails off.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I want to, Zewu Jun." Jiang Cheng states and continues to tell him all the times he had tortured people that he doubted of using demonic cultivation. He tells Zewu Jun about times he had not stopped people from bad-mouthing his brother even when he knew what they were saying was untrue.

Zewu Jun's brows crease, and he closes his eyes, "Jiang Cheng, I am sorry." He mutters; Jiang Cheng chuckles humorlessly, "I don't deserve sympathy. I don't deserve anything. Zewu Jun, when Wei WuXian returned, I was happy for a moment, but then Lan Wangji took him away- I - I looked down upon their relationship. I kept feeling that it was not just friendship; I felt disgusted by it- " Jiang Cheng stops to wipe the tears leaving his eyes, "I was so wrong. Love is not something one can plan. Who enters your heart is not under your control. I didn't know that then. Finally, when I saw them together at Lotus cove, I realized my mistake. For what they had was special. Love is special."

Jiang Cheng stands and walks over to Zewu Jun, "They made me understand my heart, Zewu Jun. But sometimes, one can only love from afar. Sometimes one-sided love is all one can have."

Zewu Jun nods, "Yes, what they have is special. Wangji and Master Wei are lucky that they found each other." He agrees and smiles, "I am happy for them. Their love is pure and selfless. They live for each other, not for themselves."

"Zewu Jun, but not everyone's love can or will be reciprocated by the other." Jiang Cheng states.

"But one can try. One mustn't give up before trying." The older Jade states optimistically.

"Zewu Jun, if one knows that his feelings won't be reciprocated by the other, what should he do?"

"They must keep it in their heart... " Zewu Jun stops abruptly and looks at Jiang Cheng as if realizing something, "Jiang Cheng, are you in love with someone?"

Jiang Cheng gulps, "Yes, I am. I realized it recently." He admits looking away from the older man, "The one I am in love with doesn't love me back."

"Did she tell you that herself?" XiChen enquires innocently.

"It's complicated... It's not a woman." He stammers and turns to face XiChen again.

"Oh. I didn't expect that. Can I help? If you want, I could talk to...him." XiChen offers, making Jiang Cheng sigh.