The Lonely Bridge (WangXian Fan fiction)✔️

Lan Er Gege, I love you

*Lan XiChen's Jingshin*

"Lan Zhan, if you don't look at me, I won't tell you what's on my mind." Wei Ying states matter-of-factly, and finally, the latter obliges. "Lan Zhan, I need you to answer me before I tell you who I am in love with." Wei Ying continues.

'So there is someone in Wei Ying's heart, after all.' Lan Zhan concludes and nods, "Mn."

"After Jin Ling stabbed me, and for the first time I came to know your heart, when we kissed, touched me, let me touch you, why did you do that? If you knew that I could never accept you wholeheartedly, why did you do such things?"

"I... " Lan Zhan starts and pauses, "I am sorry, Wei Ying."

"Don't apologize. Just answer me!" Wei Ying demands.

"I was weak. You were there. You let me touch you, hold you, kiss you. You did not push me away. I had been waiting for you for so long- I wanted to believe that I could make you happy. That as long as... "

"So you thought that as long as you could give me pleasure, I would not leave you!?" Wei Ying asks; his voice drips with disappointment.

"Wei Ying... "

"Lan Zhan, when you activated this body's core, did you also do it so that I wouldn't leave you?"

Lan Zhan's eyes widen, and he shakes his head, "Wei Ya..." He tries to hold the latter's hand, but he pulls away, "Lan Zhan, you have been doing me favors, risking your life for me, taking care of me, satisfying my needs all because you were scared that I would leave you. Didn't you!?" Wei Ying's voice becomes louder, his brows crease.

"No... Wei... "

"You knew I wasn't a cut sleeve, and yet you married me. Lan Zhan, how could you!?"

Tears stream down the light bearer's face, and he buries his face in his hands, "I never. I love- I... "

"The day to almost lost your core just to heal my wounds, when your mouth left bruises on my skin, when you kneeled in between my legs and pleasured me, when you asked me what I wanted, when your fingers entered... "

"Stop. Please stop. I was wrong! I am sorry!" Lan Zhan covers his ears, "What have I done!? What have I done... "

"Lan Zhan, tell me, why did you do it? Before I died, why did you want to bring me to Gusu? Why did you stand up for me when the world was against me? Why did you bleed for me, sully your reputation for me? Answer me!"

When Lan Zhan finally looks up, his eyes hold anguish, pain, and loathing. "I didn't do any of it because I wanted you to feel obligated to me. I believed in you then, I believe in you now. I stood by you because I wanted to, not because I wanted you to owe me. Wei Ying, please believe me. If I had known that you loved another, I would have let you go to her. I had vowed long ago that I would never hurt you, wouldn't let anyone hurt you. But I see now that I was in the wrong. I sullied you just- I was weak. I have always been weak."

"Why did you decide to let me go now?"

"Because I saw what I made you do, how selfish I was. I was a coward. I had already done enough to harm you. I would not be able to live with myself if I was to stop you now."

"After all this while, after all, that you have done to me, which self-respecting girl will accept me, Lan Zhan?"

"Mn?" Lan Zhan blinks. "I will... "

"Lan Zhan, you even told everyone that we are cultivation partners. Do you think Elder Bao will be able to keep the fact that I share your core a secret? Even if I go to her now, will she be able to accept a mediocre man? Will she be ready to stay with and love a tainted man, a man who can't be hers because the part she would want most could never be hers?"