Chapter 83: Grace

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"Are you sure you want to hide tonight?" Nate asked and I nodded immediately.

"I am probably going to feel like dying because I am not with Luca but I need to." I said looking up at the ceiling. I have never spent a night away from Luca since I came home. "Taylor says she will stay with him tonight and when they come if you don't mind, I would like Nellie to stay with him." I finished saying.

"I don't see why not Angel." Mateo answered kissing me on the shoulder. "Where are you going to hide at?" He asked and I smiled before frowning.

"What is it?" I heard Nate ask, and I turned my head looking at Mateo.

"There is a pole on the first floor on this platform that turns, there is an opening not many know about at the top the leads to a crawlspace, you can get to it in the hallways, the employees use for the top floor." I said remembering during Halloween me and Taylor would sneak up there a slide down the pole to scare people and shoot water guns.

"What's with the sad face?" Mateo asked my lips still turned down. He grabbed my hand bringing it to his lips kissing it.

"If I was keeping someone there... I would probably tie them around the pole." I explained and he nodded.

"So, you are going to be right above me." He smirked. I nodded and turned to Nate.

"Pretty sure you can be up there too if you want." I said and he nodded. There was a knock at the door, I got up putting on my robe, tying it closed, and opened it before being back up into the wall with a hand around my throat. "Good morning Sike." I sighed seeing her red hair up in a ponytail and her smirking at me.

"Don't answer the door like that and maybe I wouldn't do this." She smirked at me, and stepped away.

"Hands off my wife." Mateo grumbled.

"Come on, she is the definition of a MILF don't blame me." She waved before looking back up at me. "Serpents will be here at four. I suggest if you want to do anything get a move on." She said walking out closing the door. I rolled my eyes at the door, I pointed at the both of them, scolding them.

"If I hear either one of you calling me that beware, I will chop of your dick." I said and they both laughed.

I walked into the bathroom, and turned on the shower before brushing my teeth. I ran my fingers through my hair before I walked into the shower, getting it wet while I started washing my body, a loofa in my hand then I felt rough hands grip my waist, Mateo. I looked back meeting his gaze and he grabbed the loofa out of my hand and started washing my back, looking away from me.

"You always look so beautiful." He whispered and I blushed. "I don't know how to do this, and Nate not be mad at me." He said he started to guide the loofa to my lower back, I turned around stopping him with a hand on his chest, the water was running down my back.

"He will be upset more than anything, he just doesn't want you to get hurt." I spoke to him in whispered tones, his gaze on mine it was like there was a war going on in his head. "Where is he?" I asked and he smirked at me.

"I asked for some time alone with you." He answered running his hand through my hair. "I feel like he hates me right now and it hurts." He said frowning at me, and I nodded remembering how I felt for the weeks after my surgery.

"Mateo, I kind of felt the same way." I said looking up at him, he pulled his hand away looking like I slapped him. "For weeks after my brain surgery, when I felt like touching you and him... you wouldn't touch me." I said looking down at the floor. He tried bring his hand up to me but I stepped the side, taking him out of my sight completely. "I know you didn't mean for me to feel that way, but it was like... I needed you." I started and I felt tears going down my face. I heard the water stop and I felt him behind me.

"I am so sorry Angel." I heard him speak. He ran his finger down my spine and he kissed my shoulder. "If I knew or even thought for a second you felt that way." He said I felt his fingers at my shoulders and he turned me around, his lips meeting mine. He pulled away his hands on both sides of my head. "You have to talk to us." He said and I looked down.

"I tried, you both always said you didn't want to hurt me..." I trailed off, he stepped away and I heard the shower door click and the bathroom door. I heard two sets of footsteps, and the bathroom door clicked closed and the shower door again. I looked up and saw Nate and Mateo both standing there.

"You can speak freely." Mateo said and I sighed looking back down at the floor.

"Okay, I will say first I love you both, but..." I trailed finding the right words. "Sometimes I feel... I don't know I feel weird even saying it." I said looking back at them and Mateo stepped closer to me before turning back to Nate.

"She says that she felt like her heart was breaking back when she had her brain surgery like we loved her less because we wouldn't touch her." He explained grabbing my hand. "Just describing what I have been feeling." He whispered and I nodded.

"I didn't mean to make this about me." I whispered on my tip toes by his shoulder, Mateo stepped out of the way showing Nate.

"Why didn't you say something Angel?" Nate asked me.

"I tried!" I stepped out of the way and out of the shower grabbing a towel. "I did multiple times, I never was saying I needed sex or making the relationship about sex but, it would have been nice to actually feel like I had two people who enjoyed sex with me." I spoke avoiding their gaze as I wrapped the towel around me. I went to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer taking out a black t-shirt with guns and roses on it, nothing to do with the band but still a pretty fire shirt.

"We didn't want to hurt you." Nate spoke and I turned to him, shoving my hair back.

"You think I don't know that?" I said and I scolded myself for that coming out harshly. "Sorry." I muttered. "It's just to me it was just like you both didn't want me." I sighed, I heard footsteps before the towel was ripped off me and I was pinned to the bed, Nate looking down at me. He grinded his cock into me and it was hard, I bit my lip. 

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