What should've been

March

March 20th

"Give me another word" Sophie said to Lena who was standing in the kitchen, eating cereal

"I've given you a hundred words, Soph"

"Please?"

"Look" Lena put her hands on Sophie's shoulders "you're nervous. I get it. But the hard truth is that you're never gonna feel ready. You just have to know that you're ready and ignore the pit in your stomach"

"Easy for you to say" Sophie scoffed "you were never nervous for a spelling bee"

"That's because I couldn't have cared less about them. But I get nervous before every soccer game, and I ignore it"

"Do you really?"

"Yup" Lena nodded "and I'll bet of you ask Daniel, he'll tell you that he gets nervous before a baseball game"

"So you just ignore the nerves and they go away?"

"Nope" Lena said "I ignore them, knowing that they won't go away."

"I don't get it"

"Fake it till you make it"

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"Alright, we're down to our final 2" Sophie's principal said "Sophie, your word is...descendant"

Sophie took a step forward "descendant. D-e-s-c-e-n-d-a-n-t. Descendant"

"That is correct"

Sophie took a step back and let out the breath she'd been holding.

"Jacob, your word is acquire"

Jacob took a step forward "acquire... a-q-u-i-r-e. Acquire"

"I'm sorry, that is incorrect" The principal said "Sophie, if you can speak the word acquire, you win"

"Acquire. A-c-q-u-i-r-e. Acquire" Sophie said

"That's right...congratulations"

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"Hey!" Logan smiled when Sophie came outside

"You did so good" Rory hugged her and kissed her cheek

"Mom!" Sophie whined and wiped her cheek "your embarrassing"

"In your mother, it's my job" Rory chuckled and ruffled her hair

"We're gonna celebrate" Logan said "where do you wanna go?"

"Ice cream!"

"Let's go"

They drove to an ice cream shop, nearby and were sitting down with their ice cream.

"That's so gross" Lena said, looking at Daniel's bowl that had lemon sorbet and peanut butter ice cream mixed together

"And yours isn't?" Daniel shot back

"What's gross about vanilla?"

"You're gross about vanilla" Daniel mocked

"Ok, that's enough" Rory said

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March 21st

"Rory, I need your article" Rory's editor, Phil said

"Give me a minute..." Rory said, still typing "ok, I sent it to you"

"Thanks" Phil walked away

"Hey" Morgan leaned over to Rory

"What's up?" Rory asked, not looking up from her computer

"Your daughter's a senior, right?" Morgan asked

"Yeah, why?"

"Does she tutor? My son's a sophomore and he's looking at being held back if he doesn't do well on his exams"

"I'll can ask her for you"

"Thanks"

When Rory got home she saw Lena sitting on the couch

"Hey" Lena said, not looking away from what she was reading

"Put that down for a minute" Rory said and sat next to her "would you wanna tutor my coworker's son? You don't have to if you don't want, but someone I work with asked if you tutor"

"I don't see why not" Lena shrugged

"Is that a yes?"

"Yeah"

"Great, thanks" Rory patted Lena's leg and started to get up

"Mom?" Lena said

"What's up?" Rory asked, sitting back down

"After your car accident...how long did it take for you to not be scared?" Lena asked, looking down

"That's a complicated question" Rory sighed

"How's long did it take you to not be scared to get in a car?"

"If I'm being honest, I'm still always a little scared to get in the car. If you're asking how long it took me to be able to get it the car and push that fear aside...a couple of months. Why? What's this about?"

"I didn't even notice that I was, but coach asked me today why I was holding back" Lena said "she asked if I was scared to hurt myself again"

"Are you?...scared?"

"I don't wanna be"

"Look, you got hurt...really badly. It makes sense that you'd be a little scared"

"What if being scared makes me a worse player. Duke doesn't want players who are scared to touch the ball"

"Do you remember when you first started playing soccer?" Rory asked

Lena shook her head

"You were 5 years old, and you walked up to us and said 'daddy, can I play soccer?' and we were shocked" Rory chuckled "but you wanted to play so we signed you up and after your first day the coach came up to us and said 'you guys have a pro on your hands' you were faster and stronger than ask the other kids out there. You still are, your playing with and against kids that are 2 or 3 years older than you and that are bigger than you and you're winning. You don't have it in you to be bad at soccer"

"Thanks mom" Lena hugged Rory

"I love you, you know that, right?" Rory kissed Lena's forehead

"I love you more"

"Not possible"