I couldn't sleep knowing that Charlie was gone. I thought our whole lives were planned together.
I can't sleep, it's like I'm trying to breathe underwater.
But when everything went down in flames, we both knew we couldn't do this anymore. And now I feel lost.
Recovery is taking me so much longer. It's like the drunkest form of sober, door slam kinda closure. It's the never getting over that's dragging me under.
As I plopped down on the couch, thinking about the fights me and Charlie had that tore out relationship. He had left such a deep scar on me. I wanted to hate him for doing that.
I could be mad and I could want you to be lonely too. I could throw away your things but I can't get away from you.
I try to watch some TV to take my mind off of everything. But it wasn't working. I started to tear up.
I love the songs we sang. And I love the times we had. I love all the memories you made with me that I can't get back.
Me and Charlie went to concerts together, the movies, shopping. I didn't want to go but I had too. But in a way, if that's what he wanted, then I'll be more than happy to let him go.
I love that you're moving on, and that you love somebody new. I'm alright with holding on, not letting go, I swear it's true. I just hate loving you.
I decided to take a walk through the park. I saw Charlie with what looked like a new girlfriend. She had icy blonde hair with ice grey eyes.
It instantly broke my heart. It made me question if Charlie really loved me considering how he was able to replace me easily.
Enjoy your life, your happiness and your freedom. You don't owe me no apologies I don't need em.
It's fine if Charlie loves somebody else. Maybe I didn't deserve that type of love anyway.
Yeah this pain is my purpose, and it's weakness but it's worth it. And it hurts but it's what's left of you leaving.
Charlie saw a glimpse of me. I ran before he could come to me. I didn't want this.
I don't need you coming back and fixing anything. All I ever ask of you is to remember me.
I sat in the grass blowing the dandelions. Me and Charlie used to do that. I never thought he'd meet a girl this soon.
I love the songs we sang. And I love the times we had. I love all the memories you made with me that I can't get back.
I love that you're moving on, and that you love somebody new. I'm alright with holding on, not letting go, I swear it's true. I just hate loving you.
I just hate loving you.
I ran home to my room and cried. I missed Charlie. He took a picture on Instagram with his new girlfriend Sara.
I have nothing left, I don't even have a heart to lose. The only thing I hate is that you took my heart with you.
"Goodbye Charlie" I whispered.
I just hate loving you.
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Bye!!!😉
