It happened so fast. One minute Charlie was here and the next he was gone. It was a plane crash. I was told a week ago by the airline company that Charlie didn't survive. I was still in shock like it was the first time.
I mostly laid in bed and cried. I looked up at the clock and saw that it was past midnight. When I woke up again I felt a little better. I was able to make myself breakfast and enjoy my morning. I decided to get out of the house and go ride my bike to keep my exercise routine up. It was a better day than yesterday, but by today I was started feeling overwhelmed by the grief.
At night time I got into the bed and rolled around to Charlie's side but he wasn't there. His smell was still there but he wasn't. I still wore my wedding ring though. I wore it to keep my promise. I keep having that last conversation I had with Charlie before he left in my mind. "I'll be back yn, I promise". He said.
Tears started forming in my eyes. My heart started feeling heavy and wet like when I found out I lost Charlie, but I wanted so desperately to outrun that feeling. Mostly because I was afraid of feeling sad. The night was gonna get me anyway because I knew I couldn't sleep with this mindset. But to distract my anxiety I started thinking about me and Charlie when we watching the sun set.
I know Charlie's gone, but I just hope he knows that a little piece of my heart will be forever with him in the yellow when I'm happy, in the red when I'm angry, or in the blue when I'm sad.
As I was drifting to sleep, I couldn't help but whisper those words to myself. "I'll be forever with you, in the blue".
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Bye!!!😉
