I woke up in the mornings anxious. I would just make me want to stay in bed and not wake up. I would always run through the options and the ending's to ease my mind with my consistent anxiety. I would try to find the solution to every thought, but I would still ponder over them and could never escape them.
Kinda like how a moth gets drawn to light and when they land on it, it burns them up. I try to avoid those thoughts, but reality is always hard to escape.
Even though yn was my girlfriend and I loved her very much, I didn't exactly give her what she needed because I couldn't love myself. I didn't think I was good enough, which is what made me blind to the love I was receiving from yn. I figured if I couldn't help myself, than I was just doomed to be alone. I wouldn't have been surprised if yn left me for someone more 'optimistic'.
I was pretty much giving up on life.
In the morning, yn called me and asked if I wanted to exercise with her at the park. "I was gonna walk the trail" she said.
I decided to go with her. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. I met her at the park and we started walking the trail talking. She started talking about how I really helped her in a difficult time of her life. I found her when she thought that love didn't exist.
I was stunned because I thought that yn wasn't really fond of me anymore. But my anxiety was just playing tricks on me. "Your love really helped me. You saved me" she said.
"No.....you saved me". I said.
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Bye!!!😉
