Naomi [Wattys 2017]

Chapter 50

Chapter 50

I was scared to loose Adam. Not like I was willing to loose him or anything, I was just scared this wicked world might do something terrific. My life has never been the same since Adam came along and if I was going to loose him, I've lost everything.

Ever since Kaleb told me that Adam was gone, I felt my heart tearing apart. He couldn't just be gone or worse, dead. He can't just leave me like that. It was two days since Adam was supposed to be here but there had been no sign of his existence.

I could barely eat or sleep. Fear, anger, betrayal and sadness has filled me these past two days. I have been imagining what my life will be if Adam was gone and I knew that it was not a good one to see.

Why was it when I have finally found someone to love, that he goes missing? Why now? One week was too much for me to handle when I didn't see him, talk less of a year or the rest of my life.

I really do believe he is out there, probably trying to find his way back.

"Is everything okay?" Hayley cut me from my thoughts.

I didn't realize I have been sitting in the girl's locker room since gym class was over, which was ten minutes ago. My mind has been filled with thoughts of Adam and I couldn't blame myself.

"Everything is fine." I lied.

I really want to scream, kick, cry, curse and break down into pieces.

"It doesn't look like it." She sat beside me as she stared at me in concern. "I understand how you feel that Adam has been missing for 4 days now. I promise you he will be back soon."

"Let's hope so." I shrugged and stared into space.

"Maybe I should leave." She was about standing up until I cut her.

"Have you ever been in love?" I looked at her.

She sat down for a moment to think.

"I actually don't know." She looked at me. "I thought I was in love with Luke until he hurt me. The thing is, until they truly hurt you that you will know if you're in love with them. If you leave and never come back, then you're not in love. But if you feel like you're still attached to that person and you have no idea why, I think you're in love."

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks. That's what I really needed to hear."

"Anything for you Naomi." She placed her hands on my shoulder. "Let's go, we're going to miss our next class."

******

I slammed my hands on my laptop for the tenth time the same Monday evening and groaned in frustration.

My laptop was cracking really bad and there was nothing else I needed to do this evening but to get my stupid literature assignment done. And this stupid laptop wants to ruin it for me.

"Come on." I groaned and pressed the power button but my laptop refused to shut down.

I closed it angrily and laid back on the bed in frustration. What else could not go wrong today? First of all, it was Adam and next my laptop. Who was the overall cause? Adam. It just had to be him.

Why did he have to make me feel this way? So lonely, sick, tired, anxious and useless. Thinking about him just makes me miss him more and more and I am not supposed to feel this way.

Knock knock. I turned my head to the door's direction.

"Come in." I said, already loosing my voice.

The door swung open and my mum walked in.

What does she want this time?

"Hope I am not interrupting anything?" She asked the moment she was fully in.

I shook my head and stared at her. Waiting for her to say what she has to say and leave.

She gave me a small smile before walking to my bed. I sat up the moment she sat on it.

"I noticed you've been a bit down lately." She said.

I shrugged.

She sighed and turned to face me. "Does this have to do with our last conversation?"

"I wish." I scoffed.

"Then what's wrong? Talk to me."

"Mum you don't care about Adam and i's relationship so why bother." I scowled at her.

"I care about every part of your life. I was just scared you might lose who you are because of that boy."

"I am not losing anything mum. Besides he's making me way better than I've always been."

"Then what is the matter sweetheart?" She asked eyeing me with concern. "Did he do anything wrong?"

I looked at her and started to get worked up all over again. She was making me think about Adam's disappearance and talking about it makes me depressed more and more.

"He's gone mum." I said in a faint tone. "He left for Paris and I don't know when he's ever coming back.... Maybe he might never come back."

I was already starting to feel my throat getting sore right before I feel tears coming down. Now that I am thinking about it, what if he never comes back and just leaves me hanging?

"Come here sweetheart." She came closer and pulled me for a hug when she saw my faint expression. I hugged her back and buried my face in her chest.

"Are you willing to wait for him?" She asked.

"I don't know mum." I replied as my face was still buried in her chest. "What if he never comes back?"

"Do you believe he is going to come back?"

This had me thinking again. What should I believe?

"Yes I do." I nodded in response.

Her hands stop rubbing my hair when she said "I have one question."

I moved away from her chest and looked at her with my tired eyes.

"Do you love him? Like really love him?" She asked staring at me suspiciously.

This was one thing about my mum. She always made sure I have to be really sure about something before she sees progress in it.

"Yes I do." I whispered.

"Then wait for him."

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END OF CHAPTER 50