Lana Del Rey FanFic (Damn you)

Fixing

It's 5:30 am and I just woke up on the sofa at the venue. I just texted my driver, he should be here any minute. I've got to go back to the hotel then pack & leave for my show in New York. My phone is full of messages and calls from my dad wondering where I am. None from Francesco though. Of course.

I just got back to the hotel, I'm in my room packing when I hear my dad come in "Where have you been!!! I've been so worried." He said. "Why? I'm a big girl I know how to take care of myself." I replied not even looking at him just continuing packing. "Lana I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset, I was just trying to help."

"How would that have helped anything at all? Im just not going to tell anyone how I am anymore or what's new with me or anything, maybe that'll help everyone stay out of my business." I said walking past him and leaving the room. I just got onto the plane, Blake is sitting where me and him normally sit together, I walk past him and sit in a different section.

He walks up to me then says "What's wrong? I'm trying to make things normal." "I really don't want to talk. It's never going to be the same again, I screwed everything up and now I have to deal with it so could you please just let me be." I said. "Ok. Sorry. You know, part of this was my fault to, so don't beat yourself up so bad about it."Blake said then walked away. Ughhhh.

We just got to New York. I feel really bad for fighting with Francesco but he deserved it,he's been such a dick lately, I understand that something almost happened with Blake, and of course I feel bad. But the fact that he doesn't feel bad for not talking to me makes me really sad.

The door knocks to my hotel room and I go to open it, it's Blake. "I just want to talk. Nothing else I swear." He said. I leave the door open and he comes in while I un pack my stuff.

"I know that you're taken and all that, and I get it but to you, you just wanted to hook up, but to me, I wanted it to be more than that and it's okay that you don't like me back. I know you're feeling really guilty about what happened or Almost happened but I'm trying really hard to still be cool with you and be friends, if only you could try.."

"I'm trying the best I can, but right now, I feel really really bad and I just want to take a step back and have our distance for a minute." I said. "Lana nothing happened, it's not like we actually slept together!" "That's not the point! The point is we almost did and I wanted too. I can't be around you right now because I'm not secure with my own relationship which means I feel like I want to do anything and I can't."

"Okay so we won't talk for a while, but we can please be friends still, after we take a break?" "Of course. I just need some time okay." "Okay. I can do that." Blake said. Someone knocks on the door, I open it and Francesco is standing there, he sees Blake behind me "of course." He said smirking. "What're you doing here" I said ignoring the smirk. Blake walks past us and leaves. Francesco walks past me and comes inside. "Ok. Sure,Come in." I whispered to myself.

"You can't say fuck you when you're the one screwing around with your guitarist when I'm not here! That's not fair!!" Francesco yells. "You need to calm down! You NEVER asked if I was sleeping with Blake you just believed everyone else except for me! Not one time did you ask! I'm telling you right now, while looking you in the eyes, I did not sleep with Blake!" I said staring at Francesco.

"That's why he was here when I got here? That's why your dad says you two are acting weird, that's why I see paparazzi pictures of him going into your room?" "I told you the truth. Wether you choose to believe it or not is on you. I really though you would believe me after all this time. Why are you being so insecure?"

"because Lana I feel bad that I can't be here on tour with you and he can and he's always available, and you guys get to hangout all the time. Who wouldn't be jealous!!" Francesco said. "Okay I get that. But what's your excuse for not talking to me? You sure don't seem insecure." "I said I was busy. That's the honest truth. I've been so stressed and just busy. I feel bad ok." "Well this is the first time I've heard you say you feel bad. Because before you didn't."

"I do. I was just being an ass. I'm sorry." Francesco said putting his arms around my hips and kissing me. I kiss him once then move my face and take his arms off from around me. "What're you doing?" Francesco said. "Well I'm still angry at you for doing that, but after I tell you something you're not going to want to have sex with me."
"But you said you didn't sleep with him..." Francesco said stepping back.

"I didn't." I said. "Then?-" "we made out." I replied cutting him off. "We made out for a little bit. But that's all that happened, I know I'm an awful person and I don't deserve you but it happened and I feel awful." I added.

Francesco looks as if he's about to cry, he just hangs his head and doesn't make eye contact with me then says "I think maybe we should take a break. From each other. I love you and I know we'll be fine but I think we just need a break..we've been so attached and with each other all the time and that's not always good."

"But that'll only make us even more distant. We need to be together not apart." I said walking up to him. " I think it'll help..we need to just be worried and work on our selfs." "I love you so much. And I'm really really sorry." I said holding his hand.

"It's not only you, I messed up too, I should have been there,it's both of our faults. I just thought I could trust you, but I love you too and we can talk when you want and if you need me just call me, but I need a break." "You can trust me...and same for you, call me if you need anything. I love you, I'm sorry I can't stop saying it but I do..and I'll miss you."

"I love you too. I'll see you around. Bye Lana." Francesco said. "Bye.." I replied. Francesco holds my face and kisses me then walks away. Wow. I really ,really hate myself. But like he said, he wants a break and I can't say no to that...we both have been immature and we need to fix ourselves. It'll be okay. We just need a break.