Tempted (#Wattys2015)

Tempted:11:

*Justin*

Next Day

4:32 PM

"Because she has no right telling me what to fucking do." I said to Hunter, shooting the basketball up in the net.

"She cares about you, and you really don't let her in. Sure she knows about your family, and she knows other things, but if you have something on your mind that's bothering you, you should talk to her."

"And dump my problems on her? No."

"If she was upset about something and had a bad day, wouldn't you want her to talk to you? You wouldn't want her crying because something was wrong and have her refuse to tell you."

"But she doesn't, she's called me."

"Exactly, yet you don't talk to her about that stuff. She wants to listen to you."

"The reason why I was upset was because you killed someone!"

"No Justin! We killed someone! Just because you didn't pull the trigger doesn't make it any different, you were still there! I did what I had to do to keep my own ass alive! I get that you don't like it and don't want to do it, you think I do?! Of course I don't! But somebody out there killed my fiance! I know he's not fucking dead, and half of my god damn brain tells me it's someone working for Manny. Anytime I pull that trigger he could be gone, so yes I'm going to do it!"

"You think you're the only one out here that has lost loved ones?! That's what I don't fucking want! You're not the only one that has ever been in love Hunter! You're the one that told me to keep my mouth shut, and that's what I'm doing! Yes Manny killed her! You're the only one still in denial about it! You honestly think that was an accident? I'm not letting that happen to Bella! I'm not letting her into that part of my life! I'm not going to be the reason she's fucking dead!"

"Oh? You're saying it's my fault?! It's my fault Grace is dead!"

"She followed you! You made a fucking choice to get in of this business and you knew it would be hard to get out!"

"I was trying! I was almost out!"

"You know why you didn't get out? Because of him! Because Manny didn't want you out! And he knew that if she was gone you weren't leaving! He killed her Hunter!"

"You don't think I don't have to live with this every day of my life?! You don't think it's hard waking up every morning, praying to see her face beside me and she's not there?! You don't think this is fucking hard?!"

"I never said that it wasn't hard, I know that! But now you're telling me to tell her!? Now I'm supposed to tell what's going on?! That's practically handing her over to him! I'm not putting the girl I love out there like that! She won't die from my mistakes!"

"Ha! You said it! You said you loved her?"

"That's not what we're talking about." I muttered, throwing the basketball to the other side of the court.

"But it is. What I said was wrong, that's how I lost Grace. If you tell her she's not going to go searching for answers on her own Justin! She won't be at the wrong place at the wrong time and end up like Grace. I should have been open with her about it, everything. She'd still be here. You love Bella? Then tell her what's going on, how you're feeling. Have you even told her you love her?"

"No," I sighed, shoving my hands in my pockets. "If I don't even let her in like that...how is that proof that I love her? How can I tell her that this," I motioned to myself, pulling at the ends of my hair. "This thing that I've become over the past few years loves her? I'm the god damn beast and she's the beauty. If she knew what I did...If she saw me...I don't want her to see me blown up and angry I don't want to be that guy. I didn't used to be." I sat down, resting my elbows on my knees and looked forward. "She's the only thing that makes me happy these days, no offense."