One month skip
I had only been in my therapist's office for ten minutes, but it felt like a long ass time. She asked an array of the re-introductory type questions... And it was the same therapist as before. Ms Song.
I wish I didn't have to see her, but here I was. I kept the façade I developed weeks ago because I still wasn't sure I was going to do what I planned to do tonight when my family goes out. I don't know if they've figured --probably haven't-- that with or without my demon, killing myself had always been a plan of mine. The demon just made it easier.
"Are you with me? It looks like you zoned out the-"
"oh, Nah I'm fine." I laughed and roughly wiped my eye then looked at my finger. Was I really bout to cry?
"Honey, your eyes are glossy. Is there-"
"something that's bothering me? You're here for me to talk to, I know. But I can't tell you." I haven't made up my mind so I can't tell you.
She took a moment to analyze those words and was about to say something when her phone rang. She looked at it and turned it off. Then turned back to me. She wasn't going to let me off the hook, and quite frankly, I didn't really have the will to lie again.
"There's something that you're unsure to do. I have been trained to identify that much." She began and extended her right arm to hold mine. "You need to get off whatever is on your mind," she said comfortingly.
I want to, but how do you just casually tell someone you don't forgive 'yourself' for heinous acts you committed. I didn't even know how to express myself. So I just cried.
I cried for my miscarriage,
I cried for killing people even if they deserved it and it wasn't entirely my fault,
I cried for me being bitter, even when I had all the right to. Knowing that you wouldn't have full possession of your body.
Taking sexual advances.
Just... knowing that you were not yourself and there was limited to nothing you could do to help it... and growing to like some of it. And many more I didn't want to remember.
But those were my internal monologue. Surprisingly enough I was snuggling against her crying, I don't want her to know all the things I did, report it to my parents or/and to the authorities. I didn't want them to be the ones to get rid of me.
give me the honour of doing it myself. Because sending me to a facility can just have me remanifesting that evil spirit.
"Are you ready to talk about it? Our time is almost up but I can have you for an extra thirty minutes or so." She proposed.
"No, I'm fine."Ok, right back to lying. "Just being in one's embrace while I cry it out is an old shadow-work technique of mine. I feel better." I smiled as I wiped away those salty tears and looked up at her.
"Aw, you're all red and puffy." She cooed and hugged my head then ran a hand through my wavy hair. "Oh, a nice necklace, by the way. I can feel it purifying the energy."
I quirked my brow. I forgot that she was a spiritual person, of all things.
I smiled and looked at a nearby mirror. It was obvious that I was crying for now, but in minutes the redness would disappear.
"Thanks, my friend gave me, it's a-"
"Selenite necklace, I know. She's a great friend."
Yeah, as great as her sister.
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
The time came for me to go home, so I went to the grocery store to test if I would be able to cheer myself up. I took my time, walking along the aisle until I reached the one that held the icecreams. I surveyed it and tried to remember the favourite one that I had. Was it Ben and Jerry's? no. Breyers? I furrowed my brows, I don't remember ever consuming that. I think the brand was Das? HAG? i-
YOU ARE READING
A twist In My life *completed* March 24 2021*sniffle*
Paranormal"You know, to think about all I just said. I'll reiterate some stuff. In the beginning, I wanted help. But there was none. There were glares on me that made me feel disgusted. There was a sudden interest that wasn't there before. There was my- or sh...
