A twist In My life *completed* March 24 2021*sniffle*

chapter 51

use of drugs mentioned in this chapter

I got better. I was returning to old me, minus quirkiness from my early teen years. My relationship with Bella flourished and I learnt how to control myself a whole lot more. I've stayed at Dani's house for MONTHS and even got to know more about the craft she does and misconceptions people often have with witchcraft. I spent time with my offspring-yes. I said offspring- more and dropped the hate I felt for the way I had even obtained them. I got the courage and approvals from my small friend group- that I now trust I don't have to repeat their names- to move out and into my own home. I was genuinely ecstatic about that one. The main reason being that I had space for myself, not because it was nearly 6 miles away from the rest of civilization. I was improving on everything a whole lot more from the eyes of everyone I know. except for my mom of course. One thing I do know is that the reason I improved on everything they've noticed me improving on is due to the fact I can put up a much better façade.

Because just like everything that they've mentored me on, BELIEVING that I was coping. EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE IS A FUCKING LIE.

Now, trust me on this one.

I tried to genuinely get my shit together the times I was at home - because meetings and interviews and shit- by boxing and any physical activity... but that almost always either ends up in me fracturing a part of myself and/or breaking the object or something in my house. For example, I had to buy 3 punching bags over the course of 2 weeks because I got too carried away; and one of my cousins were over one day. Imagine the fright he had and me trying to convince him to calm down. The last cleansing ritual they did on me was probably 3 weeks ago. The same time I began to take heroin. The same day I moved into my own house. As weird as it may sound, it brought back my appetite for the most part. I say that because there are a couple of days I would literally hold back myself from going ballistic because I craved to kill someone. The demon in me didn't reside completely. It was weakened but not weak enough because of the days when the aforementioned urges came I had the most psychotic thoughts and breakdowns ever. On those days I avoided calls from 1 pm to 1 am the following day. The most recent one of them was yesterday and HERE I AM TODAY looking as good as ever.

I looked in the mirror as finalized my outfit for this evening, putting on a tiny bit of makeup before deciding not to put in the brown contact lenses. I opened a compartment in the wall and eyed the drugs. 16 year old me would be so devasted.

I didn't have a variety of options per se, and I guess that's the good part. Just a couple prescriptions, heroin and cocaine... it's not an everyday thing, I swear.

I took out a bit of coke hastily got it over with. I tilted my head back when I was done and wiped away the few tears threatening to cascade down my cheeks. I smiled that realistic smile before heading out the house and to Dani's to pick Bella up. It was her birthday after all and I decided to treat her and our 'clique' to a night out.

I waited a while in Dani's driveway until the two exited the house. To say that Bella looked stunning was so much of an understatement. Even with her baby bump. glad I can call her mine for the meantime.

"You look amazing," I leaned over and kissed her and her belly before following behind Dani's car, being that she'll get my cousins and Shawn.

"You look even more beautiful." her cheeks flushed then she furrowed her brows looking at me. I kept my eyes ahead of me but could still see her in my peripheral vision.
She put her hand on my flushed cheeks then decided to comment. "Wait, Were you crying? Are you scared of something? Why do you look so flush-"

"I'm fine Bella. You have nothing to worry about I just.. felt hot." I lied perfectly and gave a fake reassuring smile. Just enough to crinkle the eyes.