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-May 29th 2000-

   Later the next night Me and Chandler are at 4 Queens bar sitting at a table waiting for the show to start as a waiter in drag walks over.

???:Has someone taken your order yet?.

Elizabeth:Yes someone did.

???:"To Chandler".Hm?.

Chandler:Yeah I just ordered a beer."Pounds the table".

???:You’re straight.I get it."Walks away".

Elizabeth:I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.

Chandler:No!.No!.I don’t want him to know we’re yet.I’m not sure I’m ready for that. And besides he’s not gonna be too happy to see me either.

Elizabeth:Why not?!.

Chandler:I don’t know if I’ve told you this but he’s kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years

Elizabeth:What?!.

Chandler:Yeah he’s made phone calls, written letters he even came to New York but I always said I was too busy to see him. Y’know it’s all very Cats in the Cradle I don’t want to get into it.

The show starts.

Chandler:Here we go.

???:Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket!.

There’s applause as Helena turns around.

Helena:Hello darlings.

Chandler:And there’s daddy!.

   Helena Handbasket is now singing to the club.

Helena:"Sings".I feel pretty.Oh so pretty.I feel pretty and witty and…"Holds mic out to audience".

All:Gay!.

Elizabeth:That can’t be your father.

Chandler:Believe me I’ve been saying that for years.Oh my God!.

Elizabeth:What?.

Chandler:That’s Mr.Girabaldi playing the piano.

Helena:"Sings".For I’m loved by a pretty wonderful boy!....Hello!.And welcome to the show.I see some of our regulars in the audience.And a couple of irregulars.

Helena starts going into the audience.

Chandler:He’s coming into the audience.He’s coming into the audience.

Elizabeth:Relax.You’ll be fine.

   Chandler exhales and turns off the table light.

Elizabeth:Oh much better."Sarcastically".You’re invisible now.

   Helena is standing at a table talking to a guy.

Helena:Where are you from?.

???:Bakersfield.

Helena:I’m sorry?."Holds out mic".

???:Bakersfield!.

Helena:No,no I heard!.I’m just sorry.

Chandler:It can’t happen like this.Okay?.I’ll meet you back at the hotel.

   Chandler gets up to walk out but Helena see's and stops him.

Helena:Oh look a standing ovation already!.So early in the show.Oh turn around honey let me see your pretty face.

   Chandler slowly turns around.Helena recognizes him.

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