one day i began to think

lean on me

1/2

     midnight was edging and I felt my eyes growing heavier. I was bundled up close with my arms tangled against my chest. it was warm and I was just comfortable coasting to sleep.

     "Hey!! Are you really asleep? You missed the whole ending!" 

     I jolt awake, becoming aware of my surroundings. I lift my head from his shoulder, looking up to him. "Uh.. well." I embarrassingly stumbled over my words, still regaining consciousness. He rewinds the movie Lean On Me back about roughly 15 minutes, back to where I remember anyway. 

     I reposition myself from a less comfortable spot so I don't find myself wanting to fall back asleep. As I shift, he places his hand onto my lower back pulling me closer to his body. 

     We're cuddling. And.. it's nice. 

     We watch the rest of the movie, and it was sad. He turned to me and said "I can't believe that was the first time you've ever seen Lean On Me, I mean.. it's the best movie" 

     "According to you."

     "Shut the fuck up." He says playfully while smiling at me. I let out a little laugh which turns into a yawn. 

     We both acknowledge we're tired, and he decides to put some YouTube on since neither of us would make it through another movie.  He pulls me in closer again, one arm strung around behind me with that hand placed on my back, and the other arm between us holding my hip. I snuggled into his chest, breathing him in. I couldn't tell if he were wearing any cologne, but just his natural scent from what I'm assuming is body wash or deodorant was satisfactory enough to ease me further into him and our tangled bodies. 

     Suddenly, I hear what the YouTube video was about: this entire prank over a guy about Bigfoot. It perked us both and we shot up again, my head still resting on his chest. The video was absolutely hilarious and we laughed so much over how stupid it was. I could hear his laugh boom in his chest with my ear against it. I hesitated over what I wanted to say next, but it came out anyway. 

     "I can hear your heartbeat." I sighed lightly. 

     The arm placed behind me moved from holding my back to his fingers into my hair. I took a deep breath in of relaxation.. I haven't had my hair played with in.. literally forever, not in a way that gave me butterflies, not in the way that felt kinda..innocent. It made my body feel heavy and weightless at the same time. It was just him simply running his fingers through my hair and brushing it off of my neck and behind my ear.. but it felt amazing. I felt comfort in his simple display of affection.

     He responds "Well I'd hope so."

     The filler moments of this night feel like a blur. It mostly consisted of more cuddling, more little moments of us watching the Bigfoot video and laughing. Nothing new until I sat up abruptly.

     "It's hot as balls in here" 

     He laughs, "Do you want a shirt?" 

     Seeing as I currently had my lifeguard hoodie and jean shorts on.. yes, yes I really needed something else to be in or else I was going to be sweating my ass off and uncomfortable. 

     He goes to his closet, pulling out a lime green shirt and handing it to me. He then goes back to his spot on the bed behind me. I faced away from him, took off my hoodie, and then replaced it with his shirt. I don't think it would've been all that big a deal of him seeing.. if I were wearing a bra in that moment. 

(background: we went to my aunt's house and spent the night in the hot tub hanging out with a few of my other friends, considering he already saw me in my bikini.. it's relatively the same as a bra so it wouldn't have mattered, but since the top was still wet I just didn't put it back on and didn't think about bringing a bra so I went without one, and I thought my hoodie had enough baggage for it to disguise my braless chest.. I didn't necessarily plan on going to his house after, he just invited me over since the night was still relatively young)