i want nothing more than to be held right now.
brush my hair back and tell me it's all okay.
of course i want that w a boyfriend but.. i guess i'd take anything right now.
i feel so lost. i built so much since i came to college and right now it feels like i'm barely getting missed by the debris of everything literally crumbling around me.
i can't help but to let the tears fall like everything else right now.
i don't know where to turn.. i feel utterly helpless.
i was hoping writing it out would make me feel better..
*****
update:
i thought things were bad then.. i suppose i should've been more grateful.
i was just called tonight by mom... accompanied by the police.
she's being taken to the hospital right now in an ambulance. for possible bleeding in the brain.. due to multiple blows to the head.
my dad is missing.
he said that he'd kill himself before he'd have to go to jail again one time in one of our conversations.
and i'm stuck in ames.
sobbing, uncontrollably.
in my bed.
and i have.. absolutely no idea what to do next..
i have completely lost..
i don't even know if i want to be held at this point.. i don't even care who because at this moment i feel that i have no where to turn.
writing this out didn't help either. actually.. it'll prolly hurt more depending on who decides to read this.
i've already been hurt enough, this being the final blow. i guess it wouldn't matter anyway.
just.. let me have peace.
because right now i have nothing..
YOU ARE READING
one day i began to think
General FictionAlright, so this was formally known as lazy reads. It's no longer that. I do put short stories on here occasionally. OCCASIONALLY. But recently it's been a nice little public journal that really no one reads. What I publish is supposed to be someth...
