and again. my hopes are let down. it takes one glance .. every time and my heart sinks in my chest, dragging down everything i've ever felt to the bottom of my body.
i feel like i've.. created something in my head. and that i should know better. and that i shouldn't have any sort of mindset.
i think i should retreat again. i don't want to chase.. i don't want to make a fool of myself. i don't want to think that it could be so great when in reality.. i know nothing.. i ..have no idea.
i know i have something in me that i can't let go, i know it tries to take control over me.. and i know that i can't be stupid.. and that i have to wait. i isn't now is a time to take initiative, to do something first.. i wonder, but i know that to have know for certain what to do.. i cannot be the one to begin..
i don't know.. i really don't. i'll figure it out. at some point. i might be struggling, it might not be all that fun, to have hope, to live in regret, to hide how i really feel, to bottle everything up, to get jealous, to get sad, to feel like i have so little to grasp anymore, so little pride..
all i have to do is wait..
_____
why is it that my thoughts revolve around one thing and i can't stop it?
it's annoying.
-belle<\3
YOU ARE READING
one day i began to think
General FictionAlright, so this was formally known as lazy reads. It's no longer that. I do put short stories on here occasionally. OCCASIONALLY. But recently it's been a nice little public journal that really no one reads. What I publish is supposed to be someth...
