What Makes You Beautiful (A Niall Horan FanFic)

Chapter 39: Moments

Tara's POV

I find the bathroom and lock myself in it. I try to clean up the blood on my face, but it hurts too much to touch. I wince and slide down the wall to the ground. I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my chin on the top of them.

I stay there, contemplating my life. Is everything I do just a joke or something? Is my sole purpose for life to amuse the people around me? Is my life nothing but a cruel trick? Or am I really here for something? Am I really supposed to do something with my life? Because, right now, I have no reason to continue life. I eye the razor on the shower ledge and the pills in the open mirror cabinet.

"Stop that, Tara!" I scold myself. I pull my eyes away from the deadly objects. "You are so much more than that. You will not resort to such things. Mum would hate you forever if you did anything bad to yourself. And you don't need any more people hating you right now."

Ted must've started the bus because it jerks forward suddenly. I feel myself getting car sick. I start to throw up in the toilet. It just keeps coming and coming. I feel like I'm dying. This sucks so much, I think.

After a long period of not throwing up, I stand and brush my teeth. Well, really I stood to get my toothbrush and some toothpaste. Then I sat back down and brushed. But, same thing.

The bus jerks again, and I feel my stomach do ten flips a second.

I take in a shaky breath and close my eyes. I breath in slowly and hold my breath. I count to ten and release the air my lungs held. I continue this over and over.

THE NEXT MORNING --- ON THE ROAD TO CALIFORNIA

I wake up to the sound of metal against metal. I feel the bus hit a pothole and hear someone on the other side of the bathroom door curse.

"Shit!" Louis yells. I hear him bang on the door. "Tara! If you're in there, please open this door!"

I can tell Louis is on the verge of tears. I try to open the door, but the lock is busted and I'm too weak to try forcing it open. I attempt to respond, but I can barely whisper. I wince in pain as I realize how much it hurts to breath. I lie down, the room starting to swim around me. Louis on the other side is still trying to pick the lock whilst yelling at me to open the door.

"Louis," I whisper, "help me."

*_*_*_*_*_*_*

I wake up in my bunk. The bus is parked in a weird lot. I climb down my bed and walk to the bathroom. I lean in the mirror to examine my cuts. You can see the marks Liv had left, but the bleeding has stopped. I quickly wash my face and change my clothes. I walk out to the living area to see that no on is here. I furrow my eyebrows and look out the window to find Liam and Zayn outside playing football. I open the door and walk over to them. I wave to them, not even thinking about using my voice yet. Liam and Zayn don't seem to notice I'm standing next to them yet. Instead, they are busy passing the ball and talking about someone.

"I can't believe she's gone," Zayn says, his face a mixture of sadness and confusion. Liam's face is the exact same. I want to ask who, but I know that I'll only worsen my voice.

"I know. And to think, I thought Niall had finally found his princess. I mean, the way his face lit up whenever she walked in the room. Man, you just don't see that everyday," Liam says, kicking the ball to Zayn. Zayn nods and kicks the ball between his feet. Did Liv die or something? I think half excited and half sad.

"And everything she had to deal with before her death is just insane. When we met her, she seemed so normal. But after talking about her, I realize now how hard her life really was. I just can't wrap my head around it," Zayn says, finally passing it back to Liam. As the ball comes rolling to Liam, it hits a rock and rolls to me. I smile and decide to show off my football skills. I pick up my foot to stop it, but the ball keeps rolling. It rolls right through me. I feel my heart quicken. How is that possible? I think. Maybe I just misinterpreted its direction.