Saying Goodbye

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ALISHA

I hated waking up in the middle of the night, terrorized from Tango Charlie. I could still feel his armor blade slicing the behind of my ear as I fumbled around to for my phone to check my numbers. Feeling like Sahara desert wasn’t the best signs when you had pulmonary fibrosis.

“You’re still awake?” Salman walked into my room and switched on the lights.

“Nightmares. But why are you awake?” I quizzed him instead.

“I came to check on you.”

“You think I run away at night with all the security?” I got up and sat, my head feeling light. Thankfully Salman noticed and slid the meter into my ring finger.

“No, no. To check your numbers. I or someone else does it every night and you don’t even notice.” He smirked and my jaw dropped to the floor. For almost a month someone was sneaking into my room at night, testing my oxygen levels and I didn’t even flinch?

“It’s been an eventful week, hasn’t it?” Salman asked dialing units into the phone, so it would order the pod to discharge the drugs. It seemed that my entire family knew my chart by heart. I nodded and looked at the luggage lying around in my room. We were gonna get out at four in the morning, and I dreaded to leave Beverly Hills behind. But at the same time I couldn’t wait to celebrate Diwali with friends and family close to me.

“What time is it?” I grabbed the phone from him and frowned to see 2:17 on the screen. It was too late to sleep now if we had to get out at four, so I got off the bed. Everyone including the staff was asleep, so both of us were silent. Going to the counter, I saw a beer mug lying.

“You were drinking?” I asked and he looked away. How had I not noticed the slight stench of alcohol?

“Salman?” I went neared to him and he sighed heavily.

“I had to. Got some bad news. Some bad memories rushed back to me with full force and I just had to get numb.”

“What?” I was alarmed now. He wasn’t the one to drink on any random news, it had to be huge.

“Kat, she signed another movie. Even after all that happened they are still signing her for movies. After all that is did to you, did to us, she doesn’t even deserve a job at a local store.” His jaw was clenched tight and his brows furrowed. I hated seeing him angry and pissed, but I understood. What she did to us was unforgivable and he would always hold a grudge against her. But if she affected him in such ways, it was not a good signal.

“You know she’s gone from our lives, right? But still affects you, just like Tango Charlie still affects me.” I sat beside him and took his closed fist into mine.

“Pixie that…” he interrupted without taking his steady gaze of the crystal show piece on the coffee table.

“Let me complete. Both of them are gone, but still affect us. But we need to get over them, and you know that. I’m trying to ignore all the nightmares, to live through all the memories, pretend the scars don’t hurt. And I need a partner.”

By the time I completed his eyes were moist and his fist not clenched anymore. I hated to see him cry, but the pain had to get out. Both of us were hurt and we needed someone to turn to.

“Partners?” he extended his arm and I shook it once.

“Partners.” His lips turned into something identical to a smile and I finally felt better. None of my brothers, family or friends were allowed to cry simply because it hurt me. Yes, I was very selfish; I couldn’t see them cry and therefore were denied the luxury.

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