The Main Dose Of Divid Love

Chapter 46

Josephine/ moral of the story is a good listen for this chapter 😁. enjoy reading <3

I wake up, I have really bad cramps right now and it hurts to move. Well then here I am cuddled in hero's body my face literally against his stomach and us cuddled in the blanket. He's passed out asleep still and I just need to lay flat on my back on his open arm just laying there. I slowly just push myself back and just rest my neck against his arm and lay my hands folded on my chest, staring up at the ceiling overthinking every event that has occured in under the past 24 hours, more like what happened 10 hours ago.

"Jo?" Hero says and I look from the corner of my eye he lifts his head up yawning just looking at me, he looks confused or worried. I can't tell. "How long have you been up?" he questions stretching his other arm out and then pushing his body forward and his stomach hits my elbow.

"About 10 minutes." I say still looking up at the ceiling.

"I don't know what to do." I say and he adjusts himself pushing his body up looking at me but my eyes don't leave the ceiling.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know what to do about us or what happened last night." I lift myself up and he moves his arm away and rests on his elbow and I sit up against the headboard.

"Jo, you know I care about you more than anything-" he begins before I place my hand out in front of him to stop him. "Don't feed me in on your bullshit lies Hero. I'm so over it." I rest my hands in my lap. "I know I fucked up, terribly fucked up but Jo I've never stopped loving or caring about you."

"There's nothing you can say to change my mind that you, so called "care about me" I use the last part in quotations with my fingers. "So there's nothing I can do to make you believe me that your the only person I love, the only person I care about?"

"No hero, there's nothing you can say or do to make me believe you do, because you don't." I look down. I hate myself, I hate myself so much that I still love him. I've never stopped loving him but I can't believe him if he says he loves me. If he loved me he wouldn't of done what he did, we could of figured it out but he decided not too. That's on him, not me.

"Jo, look at me."

I shake my head, "Look at me, please."

I shake my head, I can't look at him. He takes a finger and places it under my chin and turns my face to look at him. "I want to be with you, there has to be something I can do to make you forgive me Jo."

I swat his hand away from me, "There's nothing you can do. I can't be with you anymore, you've hurt me so many times and promised not to do it again and I'm done with the lies Hero. If you loved me like you said you would, none of this would of happened."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"Yes, yes you did! Your crazy if you think I'm going to believe anything that comes out of your mouth. Insane." I do a low laugh and look down and shake my head. "I'm stupid for even thinking last night you changed, and that you actually still loved me."

"I do fucking love you!" he shouts.

"Stop lying to me!" I shout.

He jumps off the bed and stands up, "I fucking love you more than anything, I'm a fucking dick I know! I just want to be with you Jo and I keep fucking everything up I know! I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry for what I did but I can't just not defend myself when you claim I don't love you! Because I do, I do fucking love you!" he shouts and his voice cracks at the end.

I'm just sitting here jaw dropped. I want to believe him so bad. I can't, I physically and mentally can't.

"I can't put myself through anymore hurt, hero." I say as a couple light tears run down my eyes.