How to Survive South Park

The First Final Battle Part 4

I cough up blood as the now Nazi-Zombified Stan pulls out the sword he just impaled through my back.

'The vials. He wasn't aiming at me, was he? No wonder his throw looked like shit.'

I then fall to my knees as I glance around what's left of the balcony. The Fortress of Darkness, or what's left of it, is now mostly rubble burning to the ground. A zombified Kyle seems to have just finished infecting Cartman while Jimmy is shouting something german at a pinned down Butters. The other zombies around town are closing in to the fortresses' remains like an unending tidal wave.

'And here I thought the time travelers shown in TV and movies were just shit at their jobs. Who knew it'd be this hard beating the game even with a future cheat sheet? Not me I guess.'

The undead abomination resembling a unicorn stands back up, cyan colored flames roaring in the wind. If it had a face, it would probably be snarling right now.

I finally turn back towards the fart cloud in front of me as Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny walks out covered in a Dire Shroud. An aura of green flames dances around him as he forms a giant green scythe out of them preparing for a Soul Slash to cut me in two with.

'So that's how he protected his balls. Damn, never thought things would backfire this badly. Sorry, everyone. I guess I just wasn't cut out to save this small, quiet little mountain town.'

No... I can't give up yet. Things would have been fine if it was New Kid doing this and not me. I at least owe it to them all to fight 'till the end.

I try desperately to get out one last attack, one last fart spell. Even if I die, I at least want to free Kenny from this eternal limbo. The first real friend I got in this crazy cartoon world I'm stuck in.

I strain as hard as I can, trying to get at least one more dragon shout out as what looks like several wisps of flames briefly surround me but they aren't blue, they're golden.

I feel spacetime itself glitch and distort... just like back then.

Images flash through my mind for split seconds at a time as Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny steps forward, green scythe raised. I see... flames... purple flames. I hear roars and screams that sound demonic but also animalistic.

Another flash... Butters? Why does it look like we're in an evil castle straight out of a Disney movie?

'Is this real? What am I seeing? The past? The future? Some other version of me or the New Kid?'

I briefly see several recognizable locations from the show like the gun show arena at the end of Season 19 and the U-Stor-It facility from Fractured But Whole but every setting seemed to be in utter chaos in that instant.

One more flash and none other than the Elder God, Cthulhu is in front of my eyes but... something's wrong. It's like his whole body is contorting. No... imploding. A bright flash of light then takes up everything but it's different from the past ones.

The vision doesn't change.

I see someone whose body is that of the typical South Park kid with bright white hair and pitch black eyes with glowing purple pupils. His outfit is actually pretty casual looking except for some distorted looking white star on the front of his shirt.

To his left looks to be a Red McArthur in a black and purple bodycon dress with massive pitch black wings and shadows of thorny branches orbiting around her with all kinds of creatures from titanic monsters to other South Parkers sprouting from them.