How to Survive South Park

Nahkriin War Finale - Membering

"Stop! You *cough cough* don't need to do this."

"Why wouldn't I do this?" I ask as I strut towards the downed antichrist. It was a bit annoying trying to beat him on his home turf, but it's nothing I can't manage now.

"We've finished clearing out the castle ma'am." A Netherborn Commander informs me.

"Fortress is secure, member!" A member berry on the guy's soldier cheers as he hops and flips around.

I give a slight smile towards the berry's antics before turning around to finish the job.

"And with this, I now control four dimensions as well as life and death. Seriously, how could you not take over Heaven before I came along? They barely had a hundredth of the forces you have down here!

Well, I guess it doesn't really matter, now does it? I'll be sure to remember you, Satan. I'll remember you as just another failure. " I fire a Prominence Burn at the antichrist, wiping both his body and soul from the face of the Ear- oh, right. This isn't Earth, now is it? My bad. Point is, he's gone for good.

"I'll leave you guys to finish the indoctrination process down here. Humans, spirits, demons, it doesn't matter to me. The more forces we have, the better. We still have Cthulhu to deal with after all."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I member!"

After making sure the order was passed on, I returned back to my castle on Earth. An empress is basically required to have one after all.

"Member when the White House was here?"

"Member Garrison?"

"Oh! Oh! Member Mr. Slave?"

"Oh, I loved Mr. Slave. He was fantastic!"

The member berries and superpowered security around the area are all chatting away but make sure to shut up and bow down as I pass by.

I make my way inside and head up to the main meeting hall where I can overlook the entire city surrounding my castle. Right out the window is my city, my country, my world. Everything I've built and everything I've accomplished since then...

"Take over Hell... check. Kill Satan... check." I mutter as I take a dry erase marker and check a few more boxes off the whiteboard I set up a while back. Most have been checked off already which provides me with plenty of satisfaction, but then again, it's not like it was ever a matter of if I would accomplish them, only when.

"Yous certainly been *cough* busy lately, my lady."

"Hey, Memberboss. Shouldn't you be in bed right now? Or a fridge? Whatever keeps you guys from spoiling, I mean."

"Nah, I'd rather take one last *cough cough* look around the place. Doesn't hurt to member it all, right Karen?"

"Yeah... yeah, I member."

I remember demolishing practically all my enemies in the Nahkriin war after they were kind enough to basically destroy each other for me.

I remember the changes that came to the United States with the excuse of preventing another calamity like this from ever happening again. People wanted safety and we gave them that in exchange for freedom.

I remember learning as the member berries started to extend their influence all over the world.

I remember not just learning how to be a powerful warrior, but also a good leader. I learned everything I needed to about politics from the best humans and member berries around as I grew older.