How to Survive South Park

Sibling Wars Part 3 - Nooooo, Canadaaaaa

Karen's POV:

"Welcome to Canada, girls." Dovah announces after we all exit the latest time portal.

"Canada? Why the fuck are we in Canada?" Tricia asks. "What lesson could we possibly learn from fucking Canada?"

"How to be a hero, of course!" Dovah answers enthusiastically. "Or, to be more specific, what you need to do as a hero: Heroic Quests! They're long and tend to be incredibly annoying, but they are necessary for heroes to do and the bonuses can be quite beneficial if you know what to look for."

"So like the classic hero's journey?" I ask. "Cool! What's the quest?"

"And the catch?" Tricia adds on. "Because I refuse to believe there isn't one."

"The quest is something I won't be spoiling, but I will give you a bit of context for it. You two remember New Kid's adventures during Stick of Truth, right?"

"Yeah. Are we doing something similar?" Tricia asks.

"Yes and no. You see this quest, and timeline by extension, is the same as the early, cut version of SOT in my own reality. It's a branch created from the Alternate SOT timeline I myself went through during my own multiversal adventures prior to saving you two."

(A/N: Alternate SOT Mini-Arc, chapters 97-106)

"In this branch, things went how they were supposed to go. In other words, I never took over for New Kid here. And speaking of..." Dovah trails off as a kid his (physical) age with messy black hair and a barbarian's outfit wanders up to us, not saying a word.

"Your newest mission is to help New Kid complete Canada's questline. I myself never did this during my time here due to having plenty of other quests to complete and factions to take down, but I know the basic gist of what happens and you three should be able to handle it."

(A/N: Truth is I didn't find out about this bit of SOT cut content until after I finished and posted the Alternate SOT mini-arc; but that was long enough already. I knew there was a cut questline in Canada; I just didn't know what most of those quests were so I only briefly mentioned it and had Dovah skip it since it wasn't vital and I knew little about what 'it' even was.)

"Oh, and as for how much power to use, I won't impose a limit on what you can do, but please stick to the general quest line and try not to blow up half the country in the process, okay?

Being a hero isn't about having flashy powers; it's about being able to solve problems. And to solve problems, you have to actually know about them. You have to see and hear them. Be patient and observant instead of going in guns blazing, alright?"

"Fine."

"Okay, big brother!"

"Great! Good luck, girls! You too, New Kid. You're gonna need it." Our big brother waves before disappearing in a flash of light.

"Soooooo... what are you trying to do?" Tricia asks New Kid after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence. He hands her a letter in response that is basically Cartman and Kyle asking Canada for assistance against Clyde and his army of darkness.

Looks like we're on day three then. I remember Dovah saying that this 'Alternate Stick of Truth' game went on for four days, but we don't need to worry about that. We only need to complete this quest line, so that's what we'll do.

New Kid then starts walking towards where I'm assuming the questline in question begins with Tricia and I tagging along. We end up in... Ottawa? I think?

A quick check on Google Maps confirms that this place is Ottawa and there are a whole lot of other places around that we'll probably have to go to at some point since according to Dovah, these alternate or 'cut' quest lines are waaaaaay longer and more difficult then the 'canon' SOT quest lines.