How to Survive South Park

The Man Behind The Mastermind

Time Patrol CEO's POV:

Well, I suppose it was bound to end sometime. At least I got a good laugh out of him humiliating the terrors like that.

The time patrollers too. I never would've imagined that someone would actually take down Young Freeman in a 1v1 battle; I had simply planned for the older Freeman to pull him out when things inevitably got hairy upon my command.

Having the multiverse get torn apart by the young god throwing a temper tantrum should be one of the few things the True Gods would actually put some effort into preventing.

No multiverse means no entertainment for them after all.

Not bad for a rookie mastermind, not bad at all. He honestly surpassed all my expectations, and, dare I say, even impressed me.

That is an incredibly difficult thing to achieve.

It's a shame I couldn't get him into the fold; he would have been one of the few actual competent patrollers in my temporary throwaway time travel company.

He may have even been one of the few to take part in my true plan.

And those dumbass quote unquote 'advisors' had the fucking gall to say, "But sir, he is just one guy. What can one guy possibly do against the entire Time Patrol?" Those idiots clearly haven't read Rule 46 of the Evil Overlord Guidebook.

In accordance with that particular rule, I replied "This." and headshot the main dumbass quote unquote 'advisor' who spewed that bullshit from his mouth. You'd think the rest would've caught on after that, but nope. Looking back, all the shit I got from the timelines of at least half the people I hired didn't make having to deal with their dumbasses worth it.

The fact that them all being dumbasses contributed to my true plans regarding this shortsighted but very heavy handed company of mine only made dealing with them slightly worth it.

Several knocks suddenly come from the door of my main office in this little secret command center I had built and I know it's time for my latest game to begin.

"Come on in, Dovah." The kid behind the fall of my company walks in with a neutral look on his face.

"I'm surprised you didn't just bust the door down." I comment while motioning to the chair in front of my desk.

"Well, you were kind enough to not bother delaying the inevitable and run for the hills with everything you could carry like the remaining members of your soon to be dead parliament did. Why give those guys positions of power anyway, Future Cartman?" He inquires while taking a seat.

Well praise Freeman and whatever other deities are up there for the fact that common human decency and pragmatic calculations came together on this one occasion. I don't try stopping him here and he doesn't tear my perfectly good backup command center to pieces.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well you'd be surprised at how... unreasonable people can be.

"Just call me Eric and they were decent enough at doing all the shit I didn't want to do, or rather, waste my precious time doing. Shit that even a monkey could do, the money from 'Monkey Fonics' I hired a while back proved that. And speaking of unlikely employees, even my past self came around eventually when I recruited him."

"So he chose to accept you, huh? You're lucky you didn't turn into a fat plumber like in canon." The kid grins, being well aware of just what that comment implies.

"...So you really are an otherworlder." I confirm. "I had my suspicions despite never seeing otherworlders inhabit the bodies of the native people here. After all, you were nothing like any 'New Kid' I've ever seen.