How to Survive South Park

Defenders of the Mountain

Kenny's POV:

My old friend group, Damien, and I look on in fear at the undead monstrosity while Satan clenches his fists with flames starting to emit from them.

'This isn't good. ManBearPig kicked Satan's ass in canon and now he's stronger than ever as a Nazi Zombie.'

"Don't worry, Kenny. You and your friends weren't the only ones preparing for this day." Satan reassures me but I'm still frozen in fear.

The ruler of hell activates his own Satanic Seal and Baleful Blessing spells and summons Power Bind towards the Nazi Zombie but he slashes through it with his glowing green claws.

"Kenny, get Dovah and the others somewhere safe. Damien and I will hold him off until you return." Satan commands as a wave of blue tendrils from Hands of the Hoar charge towards the monster.

"What? A-Are you sure? Even without being a Nazi-Zombie, he-"

"JUST MOVE ALREADY, YOU IDIOTS!" Damien roars as he transforms himself.

*sigh* "Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can. Come on guys, we gotta go." I start running away with Stan, Kyle, and Cartman following close behind me as the battle starts.

Damien's POV:

Fucking hell, I know Kenny and his crew get into some serious shit sometimes but this is just ridiculous. My dad charges the undead demon and tries to get in a lifesteal but he gets kicked away before he can activate it and the spell dissipates.

I try using a Wall of Hellfire myself but just the shockwave from his roar alone breaks the meteors apart.

My dad recovers and roars himself as he charges back in with this... abomination doing its own roar-squeal battlecry and charges towards Lucifer. The 'NaziZombieBearPig' jumps and tries to slash at my dad again but he dodges and throws the thing over his shoulder and into the ground.

This is probably the first time I've seen him fight since that boxing match against Jesus two decades ago and honestly, I'm pretty impressed.

(A/N: Season 1's "Damien")

I thought he lost his touch after years of just sitting around with Sadam or whoever the fuck else he dated but it's like he's been working out for years now. I'm willing to bet a certain Dragonborn has something to do with that.

Speaking of, I see his cracked scepter on the ground and dash towards it. I'm badly outclassed by this thing and could use the extra help but the fucking thing shocks me when I try to use it.

"OW! Seriously, Dovah? Would it KILL you to share your shit for once?" My dad goes flying past me before I get the chance to curse Dovah out and I barely avoid a swipe that would have taken my head clean off right after.

I use Unholy Combustion to stun him for a bit which burns some of his green fur to a crisp but he knocks me away before I can follow up on that attack.

He then charges a mouth blast which my dad and I avoid but a third of South Park does not.

'This destructive power is insane, and I don't know all the new powers this thing has. I can't rely on my knowledge of Kenny's own undead form as this thing is a completely different animal.' I use Baleful Blessing on myself so it backs off for a bit to avoid the lifesteal and gets stunned right after by my dad who uses Bewitched Beckoning on it.

'If I really want to fight this thing, I'm gonna need more room.' Said thing then appears behind me and slashes through the lifesteal spell above me which I didn't even think was fucking possible until half a second ago. He then punts me across town and I land in some giant tower with a shit load of fireworks (A/N: Tower of Peace).