How to Survive South Park

Black and Blue

"...and a new person has been appointed to try and make South Park Elementary a more progressive place that fits in with today's times, mkay? So please welcome PC Principal."

Season 19 has begun and with it... brings a whole bunch of things I frankly wanted to avoid or just stop from happening (at first). Unfortunately, Leslie decided to rain on that parade by bumping into me during my first week here and now I have to see this season through to the end.

While I don't have a problem with the message the PC bros are trying to spread, I do have a problem with their totalitarianism. Luckily for me, the ads don't have an issue with me 'setting their boundaries' a little bit while we're manipulating them. We're in the endgame now so using a bit more force to move things along isn't a problem.

After I joined up with the ads, I was let in on most of the plan at the cost of basically being monitored 24/7. My electronics were all taken and replaced by the ads and Timmy made sure to delete anything incriminating on the old ones beforehand. With them, Leslie, and my 'parents', I now have mechanical eyes on me at all times.

Kenny and Timmy made sure to keep their distance from me under the pretext of taking Team Craig's side so I'm pretty much alone with Leslie and the ads now. The only way to communicate with them now is Timmy's telepathy when I signal to him as we pass by each other or he initiates a mental conversation.

Timmy actually had a second, smaller secret base built with much less stuff inside just for me to expose to the ads to gain more of their trust. I let them in on the fake fact that I've been secretly going there to train with Timmy and Kenny so now, they have eyes all over that place. Kenny and Timmy make sure to visit there and train every once in a while to not draw suspicion to my claim.

After I exposed the fake base and cut contact with everyone, I pretty much had the complete trust of the ads which is what I've been aiming for. All that's left is to play along for now and tear them apart when the time comes in the season finale.

The final development involving the newly dubbed anti-ad alliance or A.A.A. for short is the team getting one last member, Eric Cartman. Kenny, Timmy, Jimmy, and I decided to include him as he can help draw the ads away by pretending to be the only meaningful resistance against them along with the PCs.

It's a risky move but Cartman has no reason to betray us and wants payback on the ads for all the trouble they caused him. Timmy read his mind to confirm this.

I wasn't there during the meeting/inauguration but from what I heard from Timmy, he was elated to be right about everything involving the ads and more than willing to help. I never imagined I would willingly team up with Cartman outside of my brief time with the humans in SOT but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Speaking of, the first episode of season 19, 'Stunning and Brave' mostly went on as normal with both Cartman and Kyle suffering due to the stampede of PCs. This time however, along with Cartman's original raid plan that I made sure Kyle won't be interrupting, I added an extra part myself.

The ads think I'm redirecting Cartman's focus to the PCs and the anti-ad alliance knows that I'm killing two birds with one stone by getting the ads to believe the former and putting the PCs in their place which will lower the ads' guard. Being a double agent can be so complicated sometimes.

Craig, Tweek, Cartman, Butters, and Clyde take the school day of the original raid day off to do said raid early while I confront PC principal who is currently telling Leslie to shut it. I guess that wasn't limited to just assemblies.

I get the pussy crusher's attention and tell him to get his overreacting ass away from my girlfriend.

"And that's two weeks detention for you, young man."