How to Survive South Park

Letting it Out

We arrive at Kyle's house and the jew with a giant kite strapped to his back begins bitching about Cartman sending newbies to help him out, but a quick glare from me shuts him up.

"Were you not praising my brother every 5 seconds for how amazing and cool he was an hour ago? I think he can handle your little family problems, Kyle. Of course, we can always just leave and let you deal with him." Kyle seems to get the memo and stammers about alternate universe shit as an excuse for us to beat up his cousin.

Oh the fucking irony.

We meet up with Kyle's cousin and New Kid kicks his ass like in canon. Cheating by undoing damage isn't really a thing in real life and he ends up breaking his neck after jumping off the bed like in the canon fight.

Not sure if he's alive or not but I really don't care. Regular Kyle's been taught a lesson that should stick in his head for a while. Cartman, not so much.

The South Parkers really seem to act OOC (out of character) in this particular game as they're massive dicks to the New Kid from start to finish. With what Butters offers him in the end, it's like that whole game was New Kid's supervillain origin story.

But this isn't canon anymore. Not with me here. I'll be putting these little brats back in their places during the next four days.

They aren't the South Parkers from my own timeline and they won't be treated as such. As far as I'm concerned, they are completely different people.

It doesn't make interacting with them any less painful though.

But this is supposed to be New Kid's story, not mine.

This is New Kid's timeline, not mine.

So suck it up and focus on helping New Kid, goddamnit!

We encounter some sixth graders next but New Kid deals with them no problem. News flash Coon, New Kid doesn't need a bitchy kite, sarcastic Craig of Steel, or hooker-obsessed Mosquito boy to help him beat up 6th graders.

Not when this kid is the King.

Another canon quest down, a shitload more to go.

Next up, I help out the goths who seem to notice my Satanic powers when I arrive at Henrietta's place. Their little ritual ends up being useless like in canon, much to their disappointment.

They seem to think I'm some satanic overlord in disguise or something and asked me why I'm acting all conformist after the ritual fails. Sorry goths, but I'm not going to be turning into a Shadow-esc edgelord right now.

We then reach Craig's house where the yaoi girls had their way with him and Tweek and I don't bother doing anything to him since he's always been a sarcastic ass. That's just his appeal in a weird way. It's what I've come to figure out after both watching the show and being friends with him for so long.

Side note, I'm letting New Kid do this quest stuff since he needs to get some practice in for what's to come.

I won't be staying here forever so carrying him through Fractured but Whole isn't the best idea. I just want to make sure the kids here are actually nice to him for a change.

Another side note, as for my 'superhero' costume, I just stuck with my necromancer costume from SOT since that's what I've always done.

New Kid also went around Craig's house and stole everything he could carry so I guess this particular New Kid is the equivalent of a completionist gamer in my old reality. I don't really mind since we still have plenty of time to complete the main story quests in this game.