How to Survive South Park

Putting the 'Danger' in Danger Deck

(("Welcome, to the D.O.T.M Headquarters"))

"DOTM?"

(("Defenders of the Mountain. You didn't want to go with Freedom Pals or Extreme Avenger League so if you don't like this one, then you go choose a name for our group.")) Timmy's comment and my lack of creative naming expertise shuts me up.

It is currently March 2015 which marks my one year isekai anniversary and Timmy just finished the construction of our new secret base. A huge chunk inside of one of the mountains close to town was excavated and replaced by a massive facility.

"Holy shit, dude! How did you even make this? It's been less than a year since you started this project." Kenny comments.

(("Never underestimate the power of alien technology and freelance construction workers. Butters had some excellent contacts for this project. Don't worry about this secret getting out, I made sure to alter their memories so the three of us and a few trusted others are the only ones who know about this place. That includes the ads unless SOMEONE decides to think with his dick again."))

"For the last time Timmy, that wasn't my fucking fault! I'm the one who set this whole 'changing the future' thing in motion, remember? I know what needs to be done when the time comes."

(("I hope so. Anyway, allow me to give you a tour. I have alien tech maintaining this place so there is no need to hire butlers or maids. Of course, that doesn't mean you should act like slobs here. Over there is..."))

Timmy gives us a tour which lasts a few hours and he really went above and beyond with this place. This is awesome! The only issue is this place is pretty far away (a couple miles from town) so we can only really fly, or in Timmy's case, teleport there at night or when we have plenty of free time.

He shows us various training facilities, workshops, and labs he got built for all our needs and the thing that grabs my attention the most here is the main training area that has the same name as the first and hardest Fractured but Whole DLC. I ask Timmy about it and he confirms my suspicions. This room is a massively upgraded version of the Danger Deck DLC in game.

Timmy, after seeing my memories, thought that this would be a great way to train for nearly any possible situation and made this his main project here. He asks me if I want to try it out and I decide to go for it.

I head in the plain looking, massive empty room and Timmy starts the simulation by changing it to look like the 6th grader hideout.

"Hey Dovah, you want some hype music for this?"

"Sure." Kenny grins while looking at Timmy who plays 'No Rival' by Ezgod and Alaina Cross over the room's speaker system.

"Beginning combat scenario. Summoning enemies." I heard Kenny announce as the entirety of the Coon and Friends and Freedom Pals minus the New Kid is summoned on the opposite side.

The long range fighters immediately shoot their ranged attacks at me from eye lasers to screwdrivers to lightning from both Wonder Tweek and Professor Chaos. I guess turns aren't a thing here either. Good. The smoke clears as I'm standing there with both Grim Fate and Dire Shroud activated.

"Is that all? I'm disappointed, Timmy." While I never did any speedrunning for TFBW, I did do a complete playthrough of both it and the DLCs and the Danger Deck took ages along with countless failures to clear. Time for some sweet, sweet payback from an overpowered New Kid. I smirk and charge in, barreling past all the copied heroes until I'm stopped by a dire shroud in front of the copied Mysterion.