How to Survive South Park

April Fools - Imaginationland Edition

It's currently April first here in South Park so you know what that means... PRANKING LIKE THERE'S NO FUCKING TOMORROW!!!

Every April first I've been here (excluding the first one, we were still recovering from SOT) has been filled to the brim with pranks. The first year I did it, Leslie and I teamed up to get the rest of Craig and those guys good a few times but they retaliated by paying one of the Raisin Girls who knew a thing or two about acting to dress up as Leslie and distracted the real one while the fake one went on a date with me.

The talk with the real Leslie afterwards was awkward as fuck. Especially with the fake still there, claiming to be the real one alongside the real one. I got them back though by having Timmy spam his telekinesis at literally everything not nailed down in their houses to make them think they were being haunted.

Clyde actually hired an exorcist the next day when he was done shitting himself in sheer terror but it turned out to be a fucking nutjob who walks around with a bible filled with blank pages and multiple snakes hidden in his pants. I'm pretty sure the guy also had severe snake venom-related brain damage. Both ended up going to hospital after the guy pissed off his pants snakes and they got extra bitey.

(A/N: Anyone know the reference? Hint: This guy is in another animated cartoon show that isn't Family Guy or The Simpsons)

The first few years were all (somewhat) fun and games minus a few extreme pranks here and there like last year for example when Timmy decided it would be funny to leave Kenny and I stranded on the fucking Moon.

I don't know when or how he got the time to build a fucking Moon base but I do know he had at least a hundred cameras recording everything for his amusement.

Kenny could escape by dying and respawning on Earth. I had no such cheat.

The pranks only got more numerous and ridiculous when Imaginationland got involved. All of a sudden, our pranks could be nearly anything we imagined and ohhhh boy, could Kenny imagine a lot. He's always been the main prankster in South Park and no one (excluding Karen) is safe from his wrath.

The day started with Kenny sneaking into Cartman's bedroom while he was sleeping and super gluing one of those "Super Crowns" from the Mario games onto his head. "Cartmanette" is something I'll never be able to unsee.

He, or I guess she, ended up jumping off the roof of the school in the afternoon to forcefully lose the power-up and broke a leg in the process.

Craig (and by extension Tricia) was next on the chopping block. Kenny got an army of human sized guinea bees, guinea bears, guinea pirates, and guinea-saurus rexes featured in season 12's "Pandemic 2: The Startling" to swarm their house and wreak havoc. They weren't building sized like in that particular episode but they were still massive compared to normal guinea pigs.

That prank kind of backfired as Craig looked like he was in heaven when I checked up on him. Tricia and his parents were the ones freaking the fuck out so at least he was 3/4s successful.

I was up next after I put some laxatives in Tweek's coffee that morning and besides changing my ringtone to that of a porn scene on full volume (real mature, asshole), he teamed up with Wendy to get a massive flash mob of my social media fans to invade the school and carry me out before tossing me in the air like a cheerleader over and over again while constantly demanding selfies with me.

The ringtone prank was a fucking feint meant to lower my guard right after I dealt with it. It took a bunch of brainwashing from Timmy 6 hours later to finally make them go away.

Kenny ended up betraying Wendy later that day and when she got home, dozens of different Stans were waiting for her, each one being a different persona of his from Posiedon Stan to Toolshed to Whale Wars Stan to Raven. It was like the 200 wave of Rogers from American Dad.