How to Survive South Park

The Reality of Things

"Isn't this amazing, Dii? We have the entire floor to ourselves with everything we asked for and more!" Leslie and I are checking out our new apartment in the newly built Shi Tpa Town.

Nathan got so much in canon and he was just a grunt. I pretty much have access to whatever I want now since I'm such an important piece in their plan. As for the new ad plan, once the tragedy at the gun show happens, I then make my move by using my influence to have the masses turn against the PCs and follow my own gentrifying agenda while advertising stuff.

We then keep this up until humanity is priced out of existence and with my influencer powers, that could happen in a matter of months at most.

Leslie and I have the top floor of The Residences in The Lofts complex which Nathan was staying at in canon to ourselves with some additional upgrades being done on the roof at my request. There's a balcony, pool, and a few other things and I'm having the time of my life with Leslie right now which I plan to enjoy while it lasts.

"WHAT THE F**********K!" Oh, looks like Lu Kim just found out about SoDoSoPa. I'm actually heading down there for a date with Leslie later. I want to try and make our last memories together as great as possible so I might as well take advantage of this stuff while I can.

"Teeheehee." Oh this little shit did not just follow me to my new home. I form a massive energy flyswatter with soul slash and ghastly grasp and head over to where cupid fatass is taunting me from.

Kenny's POV:

"Thanks for getting me ice cream, Kenny!" I'm at SoDoSoPa right now with Karen which we can actually afford thanks to Timmy's billions from Handicar. Seeing her happy like this makes all the pain I put myself through worth it.

"WHAT THE F**********K!" Oh, Mr. Kim is here. From what I was shown via Timmy and Dovah, I'm supposed to work at his shitty place to get enough money to buy Karen a toy. Well screw that! Karen deserves all the toys in the world but since even Timmy's funds aren't enough to make that happen, I'm just gonna let her have fun here and experience not being in poverty for once. Cheers to a soon to be new, happy, ad-free life!

"Hey Kenny, can Dovahkiin come with us next time?" Karen asks. Oh, ummm, how do I explain this to her?

"Karen, Dovah is gonna be... busy for a while. We'll see him again soon but we can't talk to him right now."

"Is it because he beat up the principal?" I guess there was no keeping her from finding that out with how fast gossip spreads around town.

"Uh, sort of. Dovah is kind of going through some things right now. We just need to give him some space for a bit, ok?"

"Ok." These next few months are gonna be tense for everyone, especially Dovah. We've kind of been building up to this for over a year now with the fate of the world on our shoulders so it's as Tweek would say, "TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"

I'm just gonna do my best to relax and prepare for the final battle because with how often things actually go according to plan here, I'll need to be at my best if we're gonna make it out of this.

Dovah's POV:

So Whole Foods was recently built and everythings going to plan. Yelp reviewers are now all over the place with people like Cartman milking this fad for all its worth.

Cartman may be the most despicable human being on the planet but I have to respect his drive. If he wants something, he will go to hell and back to get it. Things like morals don't mean a damn thing to him when he stands to benefit from something. He's like me if I didn't have any moral compass and was a total asshole to everything in sight.