How to Survive South Park

Nahkriin War Part 3 - Adaptation

Karen's POV:

Tricia and I sneak past yet another outpost as we make it further into town. The member berries now have thousands of soldiers here occupying the area along with dozens of tanks, helicopters, and outposts all over our mountain town.

That's not even counting the absolute shitload of forces that the member berries have devoted to brute-forcing their way into DOTM headquarters.

A quick Google Search informed me that there should be about 500k active U.S. Army guys and 350K active U.S. Air Force guys on duty (though who knows if that info has been fabricated by them) and it seems like Memberboss brought a solid tenth of each branch of the U.S. armed forces over here to completely crush us. That's not even counting the guys they have in reserve or the vehicles they have by the way.

'It's the fucking AARP all over again.' I can't help but think to myself.

(A/N: Season 7 Episode 10 "Gray Dawn")

I wish we could've spawned some holograms from the Danger Deck to go with us but they can only function within a one-mile radius of the base (they automatically disperse if they go past that limit). It's enough to help out with defending the place but they can't get anywhere near the town thanks to that limitation.

Their attacks don't have the same limit but there aren't really any snipers in the deck and even if there were, it's not like they could snipe the entire invading army to oblivion (at least not without destroying everything else around that area in the process).

"All of South Park must be on lockdown. I haven't seen a single civilian walking around since we came back." Tricia comments.

"Already referring to them as civilians? I didn't know you wanted to be a hero so badly, Trish."

"Oh, shut up. You know what I meant."

"Hey, did you hear something over there?" A random guard asks another random guard. Shit, time to go.

We keep our mouths shut for the rest of the trip over and eventually reach Henrietta's house. Dovah already taught me how to fly on my own so Tricia holds onto me as I fly up towards the second floor where Henrietta's room is.

Sure enough, all four goths are there sulking while listening to depressing music.

I bang on the window and signal for them to let us in and after awkwardly staring at us for a few seconds, they decide to humor us.

"The fuck do you want, little conformists."

"A better attitude from you for starters." Tricia mumbles and I signal her to be quiet.

"We need your help to summon Cthulhu. He's the only one who's powerful enough to stop both the membe- government and Dovah."

"No thanks. Last time Cthulhu was summoned, literally nothing changed in our crappy lives."

"That's because Cartman was bossing him around!" I counter. "We can ask him to free South Park from these assholes and stop Cartman while we're at it!"

The goths seem to ponder this for a bit before responding "Fine, we'll help but on one condition. Once this is over, we'll be getting Cthulhu to go and murder those fucking twerpy vamp kids for us. Deal?"

"Deal. Now how do we-"

*BOOOOOOOM*

The side of Henrietta's house explodes as soldiers surround the place.

"Mother. Fuckers." The fat goth growls as she smokes her cigarette and then snaps her fingers, unleashing one of her Satanic attacks, [Cigarette Burn] on the squadron of soldiers. A wave of hellfire replaces the smoke cloud and burns them all alive as Henrietta sighs.