How to Survive South Park

Who Ya Gonna Call?

"Randy, I swear to god if you don't fuck off, I'm gonna have my security system fill you with more metal then Wolverine!" Another year comes and goes and season 21 recently started with Randy trying to get me on his renovating show to increase its popularity (New Kid's online popularity powers suck).

"Ok FINE, GOD! Come on, Sharon." Frankly, most of season 21 doesn't really concern me but there are a few things I want to change for the benefit of my friends.

I don't really care about the whole Alexa thing and I'm not having one of the rednecks manage my house. That's what my security system is for. Thanks, Timmy.

I'd rely on Kenny to keep the rednecks and psycho fans out but he's having some... issues at the moment. The fucking addict discovered he could create some candy drug from that TV show, Gravity Falls-

(("Smile Dip.")) Thank you, Timmy.

And is currently... well...

"ggglllllllaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaahhhaaaaaaaaa..."

"Kenny?" *snap* *snap* "Keeeeennnnny? You in there, bud?" His pupils are taking up like 90% of his eyes right now so probably not.

The guy even sold some to a couple other kids and homeless people which led to us being forced to have an assembly at school about the dangers of Smile Dip. We got to see some clips from Gravity Falls which was nice and I'm pretty sure most people walked out of there wanting to try some themselves. Good going, Mackey.

Why Kenny decided to become a drug dealer when we are literal billionaires is beyond me.

Back to the plot, with Cartman and Heidi never getting together here in season 20, a big part of season 21 is already taken out. Cartman is pretty much back to his old self now with him ditching the Tolkien shirts and hellbent on making people's lives miserable.

I even picked up on him making some preparations for Fractured but Whole with his Mitch Connor persona beginning to do some recruiting in the criminal underworld. I guess even after everything I've changed, that's still happening.

I'm kinda curious to see how his plan will change since it revolved around the New Kid in canon but I made sure that he wouldn't dare try to use me like a puppet in this world.

Even blackmailing me isn't really an option since the only way he could attempt to do that is to take Karen as a hostage but that's easier said than done after the training she got from Kenny, Timmy, and I.

Even if Cartman did manage to do that, he would then be dealing with an absolutely livid Mysterion and isekai'd Dragonborn which spells certain death for him.

As for why I'm not just stopping him before it starts, maybe it's nostalgia or just plain old curiosity. I'm confident that we can instantly put a stop to him if he ever gets out of hand so I'm not too worried about this unless he gets Cthulhu to join his team again.

Another thing I noticed recently is that the vigilante Call Girl has begun taking action as several of the trolls from season 20 have already been exposed by her. She has also been seen taking down several Chaos Minions who were robbing the phone store to get supplies for the online Chaos Machine Butters makes in season 21's "Franchise Prequel".

Butters and Wendy started up their work as Professor Chaos and Call Girl a few months ago with the former getting plenty of money for funds from partnering with the Raisins Girls and re-opening his kissing company for a bit.

(A/N: The business he made in Season 13's "Butters' Bottom Bitch")

He then set up his base like in canon and had dozens of minions do their thing on Facebook.