How to Survive South Park

Dragons and Douchebags

Red, Zenon, and I have had very little time to ourselves since this alliance began as who knows when the Time Patrol is gonna get their shit together and arrive on our flame-covered doorstep.

We've been going around getting more power for me, more shadows for Red, and more stuff we need for P.T.K. to upgrade planets. Of course, that doesn't mean we can't have fun in the process.

The three of us are now off to slay a magic dragon... Yes, I'm serious.

We're heading to the point in time of season 5's "It Hits the Fan" to take down Geldon and have Red add him to her shadow arsenal. As for why, I want a dragon mount, plain and simple. Who says the Dragonborn can't ride a dragon instead of absorbing their soul or whatever?

Yes I know I can summon Demon Dragons now, but at the level I'm at, they would probably get torn to pieces in seconds if I fly into a battle at my level with them.

On a more serious note, there are two major flaws that I need to try and make up for as much as possible as fast as possible.

The first one is experience. The number of enemies I've met that can truly match me is limited. Right now, I only have the Red herself and her shadow Nagitana to contend with and I'm quickly outgrowing even them. This will probably improve with time, but practicing with someone who has a similar amount of skill and power to me whenever I can is the best way for me to solve this issue right now.

Again, I have the dark angel and Nagitana to help out with this, but I can still do better by taking advantage of some canon episodes like I am now.

The second issue is time. You may think that it's the same concept as experience, but it really isn't. People simply need time to practice what they already know. Time to meditate. Time to ponder. Time to simply grow in power and have your horizon expanded. Experience and time go hand in hand, as experience is simply a good way to spend your time.

You'd think that with the ability to time travel, this issue would be solved. I could just go millions of years into the past in a random timeline and practice there for a while undisturbed, right?

Well, no, since the Time Patrol can apparently track a person to whatever point in time they go to if not hidden enough, and even Red has to be cautious with time jumps as the risk of them uncovering her time tracks is concerningly high.

Hiding from their time-tracking bullshit is tricky and may backfire at any time, so we're trying to keep unnecessary time jumps to a minimum for now. If we're going to a point in time in a certain timeline, then that spot we land at is going to be important.

Back to our current issue, this dragon was meant to destroy the entire world if he was ever summoned and powerful entities in South Park have a history of being treated like weakling bitches in the cartoon show, so hopefully Geldon is another one of these instances.

I'm wearing the knight outfit from Stick of Truth minus the helmet and using my Pyroclasm scepter imbued with Netherborn and Satanic energy at the moment. Turns out that absorbing the Pilgrim King gave me another set of those golden, King class tools and adding them into Dragonsbane 2.0 won't do me any good since I already put a set of those tools in that weapon.

As for the others, Red is in her Dragonslayer outfit from Phone Destroyer, giant golden axe and all, and Zenon is in a rogue costume I used my Netherborn clothes beam to make.

Zenon was unsure at first, but really seems to be enjoying roleplaying which I'm happy for. That guy has had to deal with our shit for pretty much his entire life and has always stayed positive despite that so you better believe I'm gonna do everything I can to make it up to him.