How to Survive South Park

A God Among Common Man

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Kenny's POV:

The fuck? What did Dovah do this time? Oh, right, Freeman's here... Oh boy.

Craig's POV:

"AAAHHHH, WHAT WAS THAT?!? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Great, now Tweek's freaking the fuck out. What the hell did you get yourself into now, Dovah?

Cartman's POV:

Ok, I know Bootay is massive, but I doubt even she can make an earthquake THAT big. This has Dovahkiin written all over it. Damnit, stopping him becomes more impossible each day. How could I have let this fucking happen...

Dovah's POV:

My punch single handedly (pun intended) destroys the taco shop and sends Freeman flying out of South Park and into one of the nearby mountains where a crater is formed on impact.

I rush over there only to see him climb out but I intercept him and knock him around a bit before grabbing him with a [dark whisper x power bind] combo. I then hurl him through another mountain and into the ground, causing a larger crater to form.

My scepter glows a light purple as I use its telekinesis to tear a giant chunk of mountain number one off and hurl it at where Freeman is, crushing the probably divine restaurant owner.

'That's right, Freeman. I did a whole lot more than get all the New Kid's powers in the games they star in. You made a big mistake sending a power hoarder here. Give yourself 9999 HP and all the one-shot attacks you want, I'll still kick your sorry ass into next year!'

Freeman blasts out of the rubble but I knock him back down before wrapping him up with another [dark whisper x power bind] combo. I even use the attack option of dire shroud to lower his defense while I'm at it.

"You've gotten stronger, (y/n), I'll give you that. Is this the end of Morgan Freeman? ...No, it is not."

He then breaks free and shoots off into the air with me right behind him.

"LETS SEE YOU BEAT THIS NEW KID!!!" I roar as I attack Freeman with everything I got.

I use every single move in my arsenal, most of which he knocks away with his Million Dollar Bitchslap, even incorporeal moves like dark whisper.

My timefarts seem to work on him however as I use glitch to stop any attacks I can and follow up with a deadly combo of flames, bones, chains, mist, and meteors while using time pauses to get in as much damage as I can.

He tries using Glistening Freckles but I don't give him a chance as I hurl chains from power binds that are lined with bone hands to wrap him up and beat his ass. He breaks free using Fart Sensei but my scepter is mere inches away from his chest when he does so.

It doesn't stop him from grabbing my weapon from mid air though.

"Did you think your toy was going to hurt me, kid?"

"Nope... but that should sting a bit."

"Wha-" *BOOOOOM*

I pulled the same trick on him with my scepter as I did with Kenny using all that energy I fed into it, detonating in his face. The smoke clears with him being seen dusting off his shirt.

'He was holding back against the New Kid in canon. Of course he was holding back against the New Kid in canon.'

Freeman then uses Fart Sensei again and sends a massive fart blast towards me but I smirk as I call back my scepter and use its telekinesis to round up said one-shotting fart blast before hurling it back at Freeman. The guy just slaps it away and it detonates on the ground a few thousand feet away after a couple seconds.