𝕓𝕠𝕪𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤 (A+A)

smoking

ACE POV
"Leave it there," I say sighing and pointing to the chair in front of me. The man sets the papers down and walks away quietly shutting my door.

I have been completely swamped with work and I've been so tired and exhausted I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. My desk is so full of papers, I've resorted to stacking them on the chairs and even on the floor.

I've created a system where the couches in my office represent different things. The one on the far left is for papers I've completed. The one on the far right are ones I have to spend a lot of time on and the middle is for ones I can go through quickly. The ones surrounding me are the ones that haven't been done yet. So far everything except the far left couch is full.

Aria even promised me 2 days ago that she could come to the office today to keep me company and she hasn't. She gave me a lousy text a few hours ago and haven't said anything since.

I know I've been super distant as well but I actually have stuff to do and Aria doesn't. I didn't even go home last night. I was so exhausted and had already stayed so late, I ended up knocking out in my chair. I haven't showered in days and my hair and clothes are ruined. Everything about me right now is disgusting.

The thought of one thing creeps back again and I push it down knowing I shouldn't. I can't.

"Fuck it," I whisper to myself pulling open the top drawer, grabbing from the way back a fresh pack of cigarettes.

I had a bad habit of smoking a few years ago before I met Aria, when she found out I did it she told me that I either had to quit or she would leave me. So I quit.

At least I tried to.

I debate for a few seconds holding the pack in my hands knowing Id be ruining 2 years of no smoking by doing this. I just couldn't shake the feeling and I knew the cigarettes would help me focus. They always did. I open the pack feeling guilty every second of it, pulling out the fresh cigarette from the middle looking at it in my hands.

I can already feel the muscle memory kicking in seeing all of these papers here. I would practically chain smoke while filling these papers.

I open up my window and grab the lighter limiting myself to this one singular cigarette. After this, I would focus on my work get it done quickly and go home to Aria.

I stand at the window lighting the cigarette and taking the first puff. I feel instant nostalgia as I sit here smoking. I used to think about living the life I do now while I would smoke.

"Hey ba-" I hear before she goes quiet. Fuck. Of course she comes in right this second. "What are you doing?" she says taking slow steps closer to me.

I flick the cigarette out the window saying a quick sorry to whoever that was about to hit.

"Nothing..." I say clearly guilty. There wasn't even any point in hiding it.

"Looks like you were smoking," she says looking over to the desk where the pack sits. She laughs as if in disbelief before she sets the bag she was holding down on the floor where she was standing and turning around.

"Baby," I say running to the other side of the room and shutting the door in front of her before she could walk out. "I'm sorry," I say turning her around by her shoulder and looking down at her.

"I was just really stressed and I started thinking about the cigarettes and I don't know I just couldn't get over it," I say trying my best to explain myself. But i didn't really have a true reason. I just did.

"You know how I feel about smoking," she whispers. "It made me lose one important person, and I don't plan on losing another," she says shaking her head.