Me U & Hennessy

24

"And I love you as well."

"Why you talking all sophisticated?"

"You don't think I am?"

"Yea but you don't talk like it for real."

I shook my head while rubbing her cheek. We laid up in my bed together, just taking in the company. We were both on our back with her head under my arm. I held it close to the side of boob, watching her phone.

She'd been telling me she loved me since that day. It's been two. We haven't heard a thing since she killed Luke. After the police and investigators left, it was like it never happened. But deep down, I was kind of bothered by it. Wouldn't say anything because she was right. When it comes to respect, it's whatever. I have a feeling that this isn't just gonna go away. There will soon be people wanting to talk to us, police checking the cameras and neighbors confirming the incident.

I've had people fight over me before, but they took it to the extreme. It's my fault is what I think. I started the death row thing and they took it serious. Maybe it's a testosterone thing but I believe that it wasn't that serious.

She was scrolling on instagram and I watched as she skipped the women there. Some she unfollowed and others she simply ignored. It was cute watching her do all that because she knew I was watching. Soon I would have to do the same.

The moment didn't last long when Kila texted. It upset me because this isn't the first time. Bey would text back like it was nothing, but I always caught the messages.

Something was telling me that she loved the girl. Couldn't let her go. And I won't be the one to fight. She can have her if she wants her so bad. But i'm not gonna think that far. I read the messages as they texted and rubbed her cheek so she knew I was still there.

k: when you coming back? i miss you and i need you right now beyoncé.

i'm not coming back kila. i told you it was done:

k: done? how? beyoncé you said you weren't going anywhere again.

i'm not gone nowhere. just not dealing with you no more. kila you a good ass girl and you deserve more. do better than me. show me up with a new nigga and prove you got it. i'll be happy for you. :

She was smart with her answers. There was no response after that, but Kila read it. I'm glad she's letting go because Kila is too good to be getting her ass beat over Beyoncé. And I will beat her ass. So yea, she needs to move on.

"I love you."

"Beyoncé." I watched her as she moved around to where she was hovering over me. She's obsessed with saying it now. I've been repeating it alllll dayyyy.

"I love you Onika."

"I love you too Bubbi."

"Then be with me. Be mines, let me love you and claim you."

"I love you.." I just repeated it. Crushing her heart is the last thing I want to do, but be with her? As in relationship? It's been a little minute since I did that. 2 damn near 3 years was when Trey and I broke it off. Haven't been with anyone since.

Mainly because i'm scared. Being with Trey fucked my head up, literally. Dude turned me into a pill popper and ruined a lot of things for me.

I'm not my best self when i'm in a relationship. I always want to please my partner so whatever they want me to do, I tend to do it no matter what. There's really nothing positive out of that if you think about it.

Beyoncé could tell me to chug a whole bottle of henny and I will. Even though i'm not supposed to be drinking right now and I could get alcohol poisoning. But if we're together, it's like i'm willing to do whatever you say. It's a mindset thing and I don't know i'm doing it until i'm fucked up somewhere and is in the worst situations.

"Be with me. I'm dropping it all for you. No more females or hoeing. Mama i'm ready to put my all into you."

"Beyoncé things have been cool and I don't want to mix shit up by putting a label on anything."

"A label won't change nothing. I'm already claiming you whether you know it or not. My instagram close friends know exactly who you are. I just need you to be on board so we can do this the way we want to. Because it's a fact that you wanna be with me. You're just scared because of what went on with Trey. I wouldn't dare do you like that. You can beat my ass black and blue if you ever felt like I was pressuring you, or making you do something you don't want to. I respect you. We started off with you playing the shit out of me. Making me realize the shit I was doing to these women was wrong on a totally different level.

You've changed me without even knowing. All of your intelligence radiates off of you to me. I learn from you even when you're not trying to teach. You're made for me, and I believe that wholeheartedly."

I stared at her for a moment. Everything in me wants to be with her, but i'm so big on trust. If it was up to me, she wouldn't even be knowing my name. She's lucky she paid attention that night. Her saying all that made my heart skip a beat and I really thought about giving it all to her.

We might as well be together. She knows my name, has seen my body, met my parents. The girl even knows about my past. Even though I don't remember it, she's seen me in one of my worst states ever. When i'm high like that, i'm usually with Trey doing whatever it is we do. I don't remember because I was always high. It's really degrading now that I look back at it. He basically would use me when I was intoxicated.

But actually being together is always different than just being friends with benefits.

"Think about it. I'll wait however long because nobody else deserves the love i'm ready to give you. You'll be my last, there won't be a soul after you." She pecked my lips and laid on top of me. Snuggling closer if it was even possible.

I sat and thought about it. Super hard.

"Yes" could change a lot and "no" could too. She's saying she'll wait however long but nobody is gonna wait forever. I have a future ahead of me. I'm in college with only two years left. Once my lawyer career takes off, there won't be anymore "Treasure." I'll be Onika. Have no choice but to be that. Things will be professional.

I'll be nothing but a better version of myself. No more going out or smoking with my friends every night. Life will hit and I have to accept the challenges of growing up. Entering the real world and taking on real problems.

If I do decide yes, I hope she's ready for all of that.