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"Gis." I kissed her cheek and held her up a little. She's all focused on what Onikas doing in front of us. Setting up the playpen for her. I don't like it because it looks like a damn cage. My baby gon look locked up.
We got it because even though Gisé is only four months, she's really hyper. Like crawling, she can't actually do it yet, but she'll scoot on her arms. Just wiggle her little body around until she starts moving. And she doesn't even get anywhere for real. But whatever makes her happy.
She screamed when Onika dumped the bag of bears inside. She's getting all excited. About to be mad as hell when she realizes she can't get into stuff. It's a pretty huge playpen so she has a lot of space to move around in.
"Ok you can put her inside. Are you gonna stay in here with her?"
"I got work to do. I thought you were."
"I have work to do too....shit...ok. I can stay in here and do it, it's no problem." She went around the corner to our room and came back with her computer and books. I don't know how she started back working so early, but hey. Onika swore she can do it, so she's doing it. No stopping her. "Do you need anything before I start?"
"No i'm good mama. Let me know if you need me alright?"
"Ok....I love you."
"I love you too." I gave her a kiss and sat Gisé inside the huge playpen. She immediately started playing with the light up toys. Lights intrigue her so much. Especially blinking ones. We just have to be careful with letting her stare at lights too much. Her mother is already blind as shit.
I went to our room and pulled out my computer. Looking at buildings and lots to start a new company around.
Before I got too deep into that, I started looking up more ways to help Onika with the whole postpartum depression thing. It's getting so much better because she's evolved since the first month. It was full of crying and screaming so much. We were arguing over dumb shit because she wasn't used to expressing her emotions. So every time she wanted to cry or something, she would just get frustrated with herself. Which led to her taking it out on me. Crazy thing is, every time she really cried, I only heard. Didn't see a tear fall neither did I see her wipe any. Only the aftermath which is the red eyes and pouty face. That's it.
But I understood it and worked with her.
Eventually she just stopped with it and I thought she was ready to express herself with me. But she still hasn't. I pray that it comes soon because she deserves to have someone in her corner. Which I am. But I mean in a way that she's comfortable with.
I don't wanna force her to do anything.
I watched a few people telling their stories about postpartum and it was really helpful. Onikas isn't as bad as theirs but we still don't want it to get to that point. These women talking about neglecting their babies and shit. She would never.
