A Lady Crazy Cook!

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The sun was high in the sky and the crew all stood at the front deck of the Going Merry, looking at a huge ship that looked like a fish ahead. It truly was amazing. "Watcha guys think, guys?" Luffy was drooling along with Usopp, as Nami and Iris were smiling widely at the bout. Zoro on the other hand didn't seem impressed at all by it. But that was just him.
"Oh, that's a humongous fish!" Luffy shouted happily.
"Isn't it amazing?" Nami asked a rhetorically question.
"It really is!" Usopp had agreed with her.
"The food there must be amazing!" Iris clenched her hands together happily.
"Amazing!!" The guys, besides Zoro, all started cheering happily as the ship got closer to the restaurant. It was that, until they heard the sound of a ship and dell ringing beside them. It was a marine's ship.
"It's isn't come all this way just to attack us, did it?" Usopp had asked, slightly panicking.
"I smell trouble." Zoro clicked his tongue.
"This is bad, right?" Iris asked him, as she hid behind him.
"Why are you hiding?" This time he was asking her.
"Well, you said you smell trouble, so I was using you as a shield!" Iris had stated smiling.
"I'M NOT A SHEILD!!" Of course Zoro snapped.
"Just out of the blue?" Nami was surprised. That's when someone started walking on deck towards.
"I've never seen your pirate mark before." That person said.
"Oh no. We aren't the pirates, you know!" Iris turned to see Johnny and Yosaku finding behind the storage room door.
"I'm the Marine Lieutenant, Iron Fist Fullbody!" It was an average-sized man that was wearing a white pinstripe suit. His hair was well-combed and he had a scar under his right eye and bolts attached to his knuckles. "Hey, who's your captain?" He had then shouted asking. "Show yourself!" He ordered.
"I am Luffy!" Luffy had stepped forwards.
"I am, Usopp!" And for some reason Usopp did as well.
"Our pirate mark was just made yesterday!" Luffy explains.
"I was the one who made the pirate mark!" He was starting to get annoyed by Usopp.
"What's wrong with you people?" Fullbody smirked at them, as if to mock them. That's when he spotted Johnny and Yosaku finding. "I've seen those two before though. You claim to be pirate hunters, don't you?" He really did sound rude.
"W-what?" both Johnny and Yosaku seemed very insulted by this Fullbody.
"It looks like you finally caught yourselves some." He really was rude.
"I hate people who think their all that." Iris muttered, and like ever other time.
"We are..." Johnny tried to say something.
"This is too good." Fullbody chucked at the two of them.
"Hey," a woman from behind appeared and grabbed onto Fullbody's arm, "Let's go now." She said.
"Sure."
"I'll show you just what it is we pirate hunters do!" Johnny yelled pulling out a stake of paper from his jacket, as Fullbody and the woman started walking away, paying no mind to him.
"Now, let's head to the restaurant. That ship is an eyesore." Fullbody stuck up His thumb to the soldier, "Sink it!" He then told them, giving them a thumbs down.
"Aye!" The soldiers saluted.
"He simply ignored us!" Johnny was pissed off.
"We'll get back at him!" Yosaku tried to reassure him.
"What are these?" Iris asked, as both herself and Nami walked over to the papers that were all over the ground. Nami then bent down and picked up one of the pieces of papers.
"These are all people with bounties on their heads, Big Sis Iris, Big Sis Nami." As Johnny was about to say them, he blocked his mouth. Iris looked over Nami's shoulder to see she was looking deeply at the paper in her hand. And she had recognised that look, something she always saw. "It means that if we get 'em, we'd get the money offered in their wanted poster." Johnny had explained.
"Don't you think it's good business, Big Sis?" He placed his hand over Yosaku's mouth. Nami crashed the wanted poster in her hand, shaking. While Iris continued watching her, But once she saw a certain wanted poster, she picked it up right away
"What're you holding?" Zoro had snuck up behind Iris, it was out of nowhere she had slightly jumped
"This? No! It's nothing!" Iris backed away from him slowly, with the wanted poster behind my back. Zoro watched her closely as she gave him a fake smile. Iris had then quickly placing it into the book she had been reading
"This is bad!" This pulled everyone's attention towards the Marines ship, that was pointing a cannon at the Going Merry. "They're aiming right at us!" Usopp had stated, and as he did, the cannonball had fired.
"Leave it to me!" Luffy told everyone. "Gum Gum..." He stretched out his arms, one hand grabbing onto the mast and the other onto the Going Merry figurehead. That's when the cannonball hit him and it sent him to stretch back. "Slingshot!" It was suppose to be sent back to the marines ship, but luck would have it, Luffy had accidentally bock a bit of the Horn off on the Merry. Causing the balance in weight to shift. And now the cannonball was being sent flying toward the restaurant, and Luffy smashed right into the back of the figurehead. And it can be guess what happened once the cannonball hit the top of the restaurant. Luffy had then been taken by some chefs once he sent himself over to the restaurant. Meanwhile on the ship, Johnny and Yosaku were fixing the rail gates Johnny had destroyed trying to attack Luffy. As for the rest of us were at the front deck sitting and waiting for Luffy to return.
"Luffy's sure taking a while..." Usopp gave a huge sigh.
"Yeah." Nami had agreed with him.
"I third that." Iris said, the three of them were slouching over the front of the ship.
"How long have we been waiting?" Usopp had then asked. "Feels like a month already."
"If he'd just change his personality, this sort of thing wouldn't happen. He's too honest for his own good." Nami stated, although it was true.
"Yeah, and it wasn't his complete fault either." Iris said agreeing. After a bit more time had passed, the four of them started becoming impatient. They took Johnny and Yosaku's small ship and rowed over to the sea restaurant. Well, more like Usopp and Zoro did the rowing. Of course they didn't know what was happening on inside as they approached. Even when we docked, all we heard was the sound of glasses Breaking. "Oh dear." Iris said hearing it. They headed to the door, and Zoro opened it, finding ourselves in the middle of a frightening scene.
"F-Fullbody!" The woman that was with the Marine before, she was standing there with her mouth covered.
"Sanji!" Some man, that looked like chefs came running down from the stairs, obviously from hearing the loud crashing noise.
"Assistant Head Chef!" One of the chefs had shouted.
"Is this a fight or something?" Zoro asked, as the four of them still stood at the entrance looking in. There, in the middle of everything, the Marine, Fullbody was bleeding. And holding him by the throat, was a slim, with slight muscles, man. He had longer legs then most men. His blond hair was kept over the left side of his face this, covering his eyes.
"Don't go ruining our food." He was glaring hard at Fullbody, with a cigarette in his mouth. "Messing with a cook of the sea, is a good way to get yourself killed... remember that well." He sounded so cool as he said that.
"A customer!! You're at it again, Sanji?" This time an average-sized, muscular man that was extremely hairy on his arms and legs. The man had a shaved head, large lips, with a short black beard, came walking in. "What're you doing to our customer?" He wore a navy blue short-sleeved shirt that had yellow buttons on both sides, and light blue sleeves. He had on knee-length shorts that where the same color as his shirt, along with brown shoes. Over all that he was wearing a white apron, a pink ascot. Plus he had an earring in his right ear, a white rope tied around his head, and two heart tattoos on his left arm. "Isn't that a marine lieutenant?" The man had asked.
"Gotta problem, you crappy cook?" The man, that was called the Assistant Head Chef, Sanji, asked. "Don't talk to me that way!"
"A crappy cook like you has no right to call me crappy! To a restaurant, customers are everything!" The breaded man shouted. "Beating up our valuable customers, What're you thinking?" In Iris opinion, who cares, Fullbody was just an ass.
"Customer or not, it's no different. This guy not only ruined our dishes, he also insulted its chef!" Sanji angrily stated, releasing Fullbody's throat and he fell to the ground. "That's why I thought I should teach him a lesson." The crew stood by and watched.
"What kind of restaurant is this?" Fullbody muttered. "Doyou treat all your customers this way? How does it even stay in business?" Iris kinda have to agree in a sense, but she didn't like Fullbody, so she wasn't going to agree. "I'll destroy it! I'll destroy your precious little restaurant. I'll destroy it! I'll contact my supervisors right now!" The more Fullbody yelled that out, the more the chef Sanji looked pissed off, and looked like he was about to kill him.
"I guess that mean I can't let you leave this place alive." And he really planned to, too. Being the coward he jumped at hearing Sanji say that. Sanji then had started walking towards Fullbody.
"Stop it, Assistant Head Chef!" Three of the chefs grabbed onto Sanji, holding him back.
"Let go of me! He stated it!" Sanji tried making the release him.
"Stop it! Stop fighting, Sanji!" One of them shouted at him. But Sanji still didn't stop trying to get to Fullbody.
"Just who do you think you are!? Huh?" It looked like Fullbody was about to cry. That's when to ceiling above cracked and two people came falling.
"What is it this time?" That was a good question though.
"Man, That surprised me!" It was Luffy and man had landed above him. The man was an elderly-looking man who had blonde-colored hair, which he keeps underneath his extra-long chef's hat. A mustache That had grown considerably long, with a beard. He wore a chefs uniform, with a blue ascot, and white apron. his right leg was missing and was replaced by a peg.
"O-owner? What's going on?" A chef asked the elderly-man.
"Damn it, see what you did!?" The owner looked up to the hole in the ceiling. "You broke my ceiling! It's all your fault, boy!" The man snapped at Luffy.
"You broke it yourself, old man!" Luffy snapped back at him. This really was a confusing restaurant, but then again I've never been to one before.
"What are you doing, boss!? Leave him and help us stop Sanji here!" One of the chefs, still holding Sanji, shouted. Both the owner and Luffy were glaring at each other turned to the side seeing them struggling to hold Sanji back.
"Hey, Sanji!" The owner stood up, walking over towards them. "Were you fighting in my restaurant again, you ingrate."
"Shut up, old fart!" Sanji seemed to have stopped trying to kill Fullbody, and the other chefs released him.
"What!? Who do you think you're talking to!? You wanna destroy my restaurant!?" He had asked Sanji, "You insolent boy!" And before anyone saw it, the owner had kicked Sanji across the face with the peg leg. Fullbody chucked to himself, feeling proud for some reason. "You're another one! Get the hell outta here!" This time it was Fullbody that was sent flying by the peg leg.
"You got that?! The customers are Gods!" The black beard chef shouted to Sanji.
"Only the ones who can stand your cooking." Sanji stated, insulting the other chef.
"Patty, Sanji! If you wanna fight, don't go doing it in front of our customers!" But it looked like it was too late for that.
"L-Lieutenant! Lieutenant Fullbody!" A voice had came from outside, and now in the door way, where we were standing, was a marine standing. "We've got a problem!"
"This restaurant sure is lively." Luffy said after sighing.
"The Pirate Krieg's man has escaped!" Blood was falling down over the young marine's face. The blood hit the floor after the Marine had yelled that.
"What!?" Fullbody had began to panick
"We thought he would've given us a lead on Krieg. We've already lost seven of our men." The marine had then explained. Fullbody had told him that was ridiculous, stating that he was on the verge of death from starvation three days again. then saying that they hadn't feed him since then.
"The d-dreaded Don Krieg Pirates!?" the customers inside the restaurant had starting to freak out by the name Krieg.
"Isn't he supposedly the most powerful pirate of the East Blue?" A customer asked.
"I'm really sor..." before the poor marine could finish, a gun shot echoed through out the restaurant, and that marine collapsed to the ground. The customers run scared out of their minds. Slowly the man that had fired the gun started walking into the restaurant.
"Another customer has arrived." The chef Patty said, watching the man walk in.
"He'd better not cause anymore trouble in my restaurant." The owner stated, by the way they acted Iris was taking it this happened. A lot. Which she didn't know if it was funny or just sad.
"A pirate, eh?" Well there was at least someone who was smiling? Luffy, Of course. Sanji didn't seem fazed either, as he blow smoke from the cigarette out of his mouth. As the gun man walked passed Fullbody, despite being a Lieutenant he wasn't doing anything. The air seemed completely still as the man that was wearing an open gray jacket with a red sea-serpent design on each side. Under that was green shirt. To match his gray jacket were a pair of gray pants, also matching was a gray headband with blue stripes design like of the sleeves of the jacket. And finally the man had two spherical earrings on both of his ears. The man lifted his black leather shoes onto the table as he sat at it.
"I don't care what it is... bring me some food." relatively thin, most likely from not eating in days, man of average height. His hair was short, scruffy that went with his scruffy beard, both black. From what Iris could tell was that the man was slight mustache. And to top off his looks were dark circles under his eyes, possibly from lack of sleep. He was sweating a whole lot and blood was running down one side of his face. She saw that he was in pain, and it was a lot of it. "This is a restaurant, isn't it?"
"Welcome, mere bastard." The chef, Patty grin widely at the pirate, rubbing his two hands together.
"I'll only say it once more, so listen up. Bring me some food." He had repeated himself.
"He's gonna kill that cook." Fullbody stated, just sitting back, like everyone else was.
"I'm sorry Sir, but we'll be expecting you to pay for a meal here. Do you have enough money?" Patty rubbed the back of is head.
"Is a bullet okay?" The pirate had asked, after pointing the gun directly on Patty's forehead.
"So I take it that you don't have any money." Patty didn't seemed phased by it however. And after saying that, the pirate was slammed into the ground by his huge arms.
"What!?" Fullbody and half of the customer were shocked and surprised, while the chefs and the other half we smiling.
"Why that Patty bastard broke one of my chairs!" But the Head Chef wasn't so glad. And then there was Luffy, he was amazed about how much power Patty had.
"That's got to hurt." Iris said watching the scene continue to play in front of her.
"If you can't pay up, you can't eat." Patty stated, looking down at the now more injured pirate.
"Way to go, Mr. Cook!" A woman with a cowgirl hat shouted, and a man behind her whistle.
"That pirate's Nothing. Take him out, Patty!" One of the many Chef yelled happily. Unlike the pirate who's stomach was now growing.
"Oh, your stomach's growing there, you filthy pirate." Patty Then was told by that pirate it was a fart, and then called him a jerk. Ordering Patty to hurry up and get him food. "You're no customer, so get the hell outta here!!" Patty shouted at the top of his lungs. However, the eyes that belonged to Iris were pulled away from that seeing the Assistant Head Chef Sanji walking away up the stairs that must have been the kitchen. She wasn't the only one that notice this either, the Head Chef did as well. However, sadly everyone's attention was pulled back to the brutal scene of Patty kicking to shit out of the powerless, weak pirate. While that was happening Fullbody and his men crawling away in fear. Patty had finally stopped kicking the crap out of the pirate and turned around to everyone. "Alright, Everyone!" Smiling happily at them and courtesy as if it was the end of a play, and everyone was applause if it was as well. Well not everyone. "Please, continue with your meal." Patty then grabbed the pirate and walked off with him. After sometime passed the crew, obviously besides Luffy, were sitting at a table eat the delicious food from the sea restaurant, that was until the crew spotted Luffy walking down the stairs.
"Hey there, waiter!" Nami had called out to him.
"Hey! It's you guys!" He shouted upon seeing them.
"Hey, I heard that you've gotta work for a year!" Usopp couldn't help but laugh.
"Too bad, Luffy." Iris said up to him, smiling.
"Can I redraw the pirate flag?" Zoro asked joking around.
"What's all this?!" Luffy spotted all the delicious food in the table they were sitting at. "You all stuff yourselves with such great food while I'm not around!? That hurts!" Luffy shouted at them, after running down the stair, completely and utterly upset with them.
"Not really, It's our free will." Zoro laughed looking away from Luffy. As Zoro was laughing, Luffy was picking his nose, and pulled something out of it.
"Take That." Luffy mutated throwing the snot into Zoro's water. Nami, Usopp and Iris were trying to hold back their laughter, waiting for him.
"But I've gotta admit, the food here's great." Zoro had then grabbed his cup. "I feel kinda sorry for you." He bought it closer to his lips. But then it was in Luffy's mouth. "You drink it!" The three could no longer hold back, they all busted out laughing their heads off.
"Why'd you do that?" Luffy finally could breath, but he was on the ground rolling around.
"You, too! What were you trying to pull?" Zoro glared down to him. The whole restaurant had turned to look at the their table, completely disgusted or uncomfortable with the crew and their loudness. Sanji at this time was pouring some wine for a woman, who's date wasn't to happy with him flirting with her.
"Man, they're noisy..." Sanji looked up towards us, completely annoyed. "Are those idiots his crew?" He had questioned. Taking a closer look he spotted Nami and Iris, laughing their heads off banging the table. "Pour it yourself." Sanji handed over the wine bottle to the man.
"O' Mother Ocean! Thank you for arranging this encounter today!" Before either Nami or Iris knew, Sanji was on his knees holding two red roses to them. "Oh, my love!" He directed that at Nami, "Oh, my angel!" This time to Iris. "Go on, laugh at me. I, who can't bear torture. As long as I'm with you two, it matters not if I'm a pirate or a devil..." Iris really didn't know what he was on about, but it was just weird. "My heart's ready as can be!" Sanji's face had completely changed, it was blushing and his eye that was showing turned into a heart. Both Iris and Nami took the roses from his hands but at the same time, Zoro and Luffy looked at him completely uncomfortable. "But, this is horrible!" Sanji stood up, throwing out his arms. "There's such a great obstacle between us three!" Sanji clinged his chest tightly as he yelled.
"The obstacle is me, right? Sanji." The Head Chef stood behind him, causing Sanji to snap out of his trance.
"The old fart!" Sanji called him.
"This is just great. Why don't you just run off and be a pirate just like them." The Head Chef said. "We don't need you here anymore!" When Sanji was told that, he didn't seem all that happy.
"Hey, old fart." Sanji, along with the crew, turned to look at the Head Chef leaning against the table across from them. "Ain't I the Assistant Head Chef here? What's your crap of not needing me no more?" Yeah, Sanji was very unhappy.
"You always fight with our customers." That was a good reason, Iris thought. "You flirt with any beautiful woman in sight." So was that one. "And you make lousy food." That one doesn't make sense. Iris didn't know much about restaurants, but if one was given the title of Assistant Head Chef then wouldn't that mean they were good? Then again she could be wrong. "You're nothing more than a burden to this restaurant! That's what I mean." The Head Chef was holding back at all.
"What the...!?" the laughter of men came from above and they belonged to the other chefs.
"The other cooks don't like you anyway.why don't you just become a pirate or whatever you please? Why don't you just get the hell outta here!?" the group at the crew's table now weren't the only ones listening, but everyone in the restaurant.
"What's this crap?" And every time the Head Chef said more, Sanji got even more upset. "I didn't do shit and now you're blowing your head off, old fart?" Sanji had now started walking over towards him, "I don't care about the rest of your excuses... but I'll never allow my cooking to be insulted! I don't care about the hell you're gonna say... I'm gonna stay right here as a chef!" Sanji really was stubborn, Iris couldn't help but get the feeling there was more to what the Head Chef was saying, but truth be told she didn't care. "If you don't like It's it's your problem!" The Head Chef was grabbed by the collar by Sanji as he was yelling.
"How dare you hit your own boss...!" The Head Chef hit Sanji's hand away from him, "you stupid eggplant!" And then he was throw towards their table.
Good thing the food was save.
"Dammit." Sanji slid down the broken table. "Are you kiddin'? No matter how hard you may try... I'm gonna stay right here as a chef!" Sanji protested sitting up. "'Til the day you go to hell!" The Head Chef turned his back and walked away.
"I won't die! I'll live another 100 years!" He shouted back to Sanji
"What a stubborn old man..." Sanji muttered.
"Isn't it great that he gave you his blessing!" Luffy patted Sanji on the shoulder. "Now you can come with us...!"
"Hell no!" Sanji's teeth sharpen as he snapped at him. After that, Sanji set a new table down in place of the old broken one, "alright then." He then head back to the kitchen and brought out a tray. "Please pardon me for what happened." Sanji placed a fruit salad in a glass one of the two in front of Iris, who was sitting beside Zoro, across from Nami, and poured her a drink. "As an apology, I've ordered you both a fruit Macedonian each, my Princess and Angel." He had gotten around to Nami and did the same thing.
"Why, thank you." Nami excitedly yelled. "You're so kind." She then said after.
"Yes, thank you very much." Iris politely said, looking down at the delicious, mouth watering fruits.
"What's this? You're not apologising to us? I'll sue you, you love cook!" Usopp had jumped up from his chair shouted.
"I've brought you some tea, isn't that enough?" Sanji was so in his face that his long nose was bent up. "You should thank me, long nose."
"Huh? Picking a fight? I won't be easy on you!" It was unclear on how this was going to end. "Get him, Zoro!" Yep, that was how it would be.
"Do it yourself." Zoro said back. Iris took the folk and picked up one of the pieces of fruit and ate it. It really was mouth watering! She had never tasted anything like this in her whole life! Her whole life... She placed the fork down. "Iris, are you o-" before Zoro finished she shoved a fork of fruit right in his mouth.
"Doesn't it tastes good?!" She asked him loudly, he nodded eating the fruit and then smiled at her. Upon seeing this, Iris grabbed the clothing above her heart and gripped it hard not knowing why her heart stepped a beat. It wasn't painful like it always was if he was calling. It was kind of a warm feeling, the kind she hadn't felt in years.
"Please, don't fight over me!" Nami shouted like a Denzel in distress, causing Iris to look away from Zoro who she couldn't look away from him for some reason.
"Very well, Ma'am. I'll stop." Well who really cares as long as they stop.
"Who's fighting over you!?" Usopp shouted at her.
"By the way..." Nami was now acting cute, "the food here's great, but... it's a bit expensive for us. Right, Iris?" Nami turned to Iris as she flirted with Sanji and winked at her, telling her to go along.
"Um, yes. It's so great but really too much." Iris went along with her.
"Of course, I won't make you two pay..." Sanji stated, his eye still a heart.
"Thank you!" Nami hugged him tightly, which was making him extremely over joy.
"You guys have to." He had stated to Zoro and Usopp.
"I already saw that coming." Zoro was sweating a lot at Sanji's gullibility, and so was Iris to be honest. Not knowing since when, but Luffy was sitting at the table sipping tea and laughing his head off.
"Hey," But that quickly changed was Sanji kicked his rubbery head, "Why are you slacking off here for?" And then he was dragged off like a child or a dog. "Go give the guests towels when they come in!" The crew could only watch the stupid captain beginning taken with a sweat drop each falling down the back of their heads.
"Yes, Sir." Luffy could only reply. But for the rest of the day it was extremely peaceful, but that was Not knowing of what was to come the very next day....

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