Chapter 33: Broken Hearts and Promises

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Richard POV

She told me everything. She told me everything about her and gave me the option to choose whether I could stay or leave. I was a hundred percent sure I wanted to stay with her and I told her that I wanted to stay with her. I want to stay with her but I don't, I just don't know how to deal with those emotions. I don't know what to say.

When she fell asleep yesterday, I put her in bed and went home. I didn't sleep or anything, my mind was blank I couldn't think about anything but her. I don't know how to comfort her, I didn't know how to talk to her, and I'm scared I'm going to mess things up.

"Want to hang out today?" Callan asked me through our call "no, I have to think" "about what?" "things Callan" I groaned "where are you?" he asked me "at my house" I stated, "can I come over?" "no, I need to be alone" he groaned "what happened? Did she break up with you?" "what? No" I said, "why did you even ask that?" "Well, because you always block yourself out when there's a problem or something. And you sound grumpy, you don't sound grumpy when she's with you" he had a point "wait for a second, I think she's calling Nicole" "put me on speaker"

"I'm good how are you?" They were talking, "not at all," Nicole said, "I don't know Callan just hung up with him, did you try calling him on the phone and in his house?" She asked Valentina "I'm sorry Valentina I don't know. I can check and call you if you want" they ended the call.

"What the fuck did you do to the girl Richard?" Nicole asked me through the call "nothing" "I'm going to ask you one last time" she said, "what the fuck did you do?" "literally, absolutely nothing" I sigh "why does she sound broken?" She asked me, shit, I hurt Valentina. I broke one of the rules, our rules "I, I have to go" "Richard" Nicole took the phone from Callan "that girl is fucking fragile, if you hurt her I promise to Jesus Christ imma hurt you. That girl bore a lot. She loves you with all she's got." "Nicole calm down," Callan ordered Nicole.

"Don't you fucking tell me to calm down, your ass of a friend is fucking up his relationship that just lasted a week. Look Richard I love you ok? But what you did doesn't have any explanation. You have to fucking fix it. She's broken and you're breaking her more by what you did yesterday." "I know I fucking fucked up ok? I know I am a fucking asshole. I know I don't deserve her-" she cut me "I never fucking told you you don't deserve her, I'm telling you to fix it now before everything gets out of control" 

I closed the call and got in my car and drove to Sain.

"We fucking need to talk" I barged into his office "I'm in my fucking break Richard," he said groaning "I need to talk to my therapist" I stated "then you need an appointment" "then I need to talk to my friend" I sat, he groaned knowing that I wasn't going to let go.

"Cancel my appointments till four" he called his receptionist.

"She told you everything about her and you left her and went home and didn't answer her calls and messages" I nodded "I fucking hate myself for what I fucking did Sain, I really do. I was an actual pussy and bitch. I didn't talk to her for two days, oh my God" I groaned.

 "I broke one of our rules, promises" I looked down "which were?"

"We had four" he motioned me to continue.

"1. Don't lie to her.

2. Be honest to her.

3. Don't fight anyone unless it's necessary.

4. Don't break her heart"

I grabbed my hair harshly "you broke her heart," "Hey, I'm with a therapist" "no, you're with a friend, remember? I'm not going to soothe you." He got up, "what's something you hate about yourself, Richard?" "I don't fucking know, nothing's on my mind right now. What does that relate to our topic anyway?" he groaned. 

"Imagine telling her something you hated about yourself. Imagine her saying it's ok and bla bla bla the words you said and then you don't see her or contact her for two days. Imagine she was ignoring you and ignoring your messages and calls. What would you feel about that?" he asked me "I don't know. Maybe be angry and regret telling her." "so why did you leave her?" I looked down

"Why did you leave her?" He asked again " I heard it the first you asked by the way." I looked at him. "I didn't leave her" "you did. You left her when she needed you most. You ignored her calls and messages. She felt vulnerable and you let her down." I groaned. 

"I didn't mean to. I swear to God I didn't mean to. If I knew how to act or what to say I would be there right now. I wouldn't have left that night. I don't know anything about relationships. I was never in one. I was scared to break things between us. I was scared to say the wrong things."

"yeah you don't know anything about relationships, but you told her you loved her, and she told you she loved you. You asked her to be your girlfriend and she said yes. If she didn't love you for who you are, she wouldn't have met your friends, invited them over, or gone with them to the club. If you didn't do what you did from the beginning she wouldn't have told you anything about her." He said "but you let her down" he pointed at me "and you have to patch things up with her" "how?" I asked "I don't know," I got up and walked towards the door "you're a really bad therapist," I said "I wasn't a therapist, I was a friend" 

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