Miraculous Rewrite

Malediktator

Scene: Le Grand Paris, roof. Chloé is recording herself costumed as Queen Bee and as Coccinelle in the former's "secret lair", with a caption bar reading "Chloé TV" on a strip of corrugated cardboard.

Chloé-Bee: (to camera) Welcome to my secret lair. I may be a superhero, but I'm always happy to share my thrilling life with all my fans. Like today, my dear friend Coccinelle showed up to ask me for advice.
Chloé-Bug: I admire Queen Bee so much. She showed me what being a superhero is all about and always fixes the messes Chat Noir and I get ourselves into.
Chloé-Bee: Oh, please. You would do the same for me.
Chloé-Bug: Come on! Like you would ever cause a mess.
Chloé-Bee: You're right. (She laughs conceitedly)
(Chloé-Bug joins with the same laughter)

(The scene zooms out to reveal that it is being watched on a screen in Miss Bustier's classroom)

Ivan: That's not Coccinelle, that's you, Chloé!
(The entire class laughs)
Chloé: Of course that's the real Coccinelle!
Miss Bustier: But Chloé, could you tell me why you chose to do an assignment about yourself? Uh— I mean: about Queen Bee?
Chloé: Well, our assignment was to choose an important person in French history and I actually saved France. Even Coccinelle says so... (She clicks on the remote control)
Chloé-Bug: (on the screen) Queen Bee really makes us stronger...
Chloé-Bug and real Chloé: ...she truly is Miraculous.
Alya: Chloé, it's so obvious that's you dressed up as Coccinelle. You didn't even bother to match his hair color.
Chloé: Uh... he... just... dyed his hair blonde to look like me.
(The entire class starts laughing again)
Chloé: Ugh, you're all a bunch of losers! (She looks at Adrien) Except you, Adrikins. None of you deserve to see the rest of my documentary.
Marinette: (sarcastically, louder than intended) Oh, what a shame.
(The class laughs harder)
Chloé: Uh?
(She turns around and sees that Sabrina is laughing just as hard; when Sabrina realizes Chloé is looking, she stops immediately)
Chloé: I saw you laughing with the other idiots; you're fired!
Sabrina: (cries) Whahaha, I betrayed my best friend! (She collapses her head on the table)
Alya: How could you not laugh, Sabrina? The whole superhero sitch has totally gone to her head. (She swipes on her phone, and her screen gets broadcast to the big screen in the classroom)
Coccinelle: (on the screen, down in the Métro, to Queen Bee; dialogue from the episode Queen Wasp) You're the one who paralyzed the Métro driver, aren't you? You used your power to create this situation!
Alya: She wasn't the hero; it was Chat Noir and Coccinelle!
Alix: She had superpowers for like five minutes and went totally outta control!
Marinette: We might not deserve (makes air quotes) to see your documentary, but you don't deserve to be called a superhero!
Chloé: What?! (slams table) You will pay for your insulting remarks, Dupain-Cheng!
Miss Bustier: Calm down now, students!
Chloé: (gets up) This is ridiculous.
Miss Bustier: Chloé, class isn't over.
Chloé: You're all ridiculous. Utterly riii-diculous. (She leaves)

Scene: Hôtel de Ville, mayor's office. Mayor Bourgeois is marrying a couple.

André: By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Audrey: (bursts through the door with Chloé) Oh, good. You're married. Now get out!
(Chloé then shoves the people right out the door)
Chloé: Shoo! (slams door)
André: What in the world is going on, my sweetie pie?
Audrey: (slams table) I demand that you close the school down for good!
Chloé: (slams table) And I want you to banish Marinette Dupain-Cheng from Paris!
Audrey: (cradles Chloé's head) That monster hurt your little girl's feelings.
Chloé: She got the whole class to gang up on me. They all have to pay.
André: But I just can't! I mean... I could close the school for a few days... a week at most.
Audrey: (slams table) Not good enough!
(Chloé slams the table, making André stumble backwards)
Chloé: Shut it down forever!
André: Ugh— But that's impossible! I love you, Chloé, but you're asking too much of me this time. I'm only the mayor.
Chloé: Precisely. (indicating with her hand) What's the use of this stupid sash you're wearing if you can't actually use power? This is ridiculous!...
Chloé and Audrey: Utterly ridiculous!
André: You've always been too good for your classmates. Maybe you should switch schools?
(Chloé throws a tantrum)
Audrey: Change schools? Ugh— forget it! We need to change cities, that's what. We'll go to New York!
André: But wait!